Apologies, but I can’t help but think the most appropriate wearer sports huge bazoombies — providing a nice landing spot. Maybe wedge a few dollar bills in there.

Anyhow, largely blank posters appearing in Manhattan subways are just begging for graffiti and that’s exactly what’s happening. My favorite is the giant rear end (which I imagine belongs to Midge). Course it would be funnier if someone who actually watched the show took out a Sharpie — what’s Don falling into? How about an Old Fashioned? A shoe box containing old photographs? Sal’s open mouth? A bed of money?

Gotta find some of these posters in San Francisco…

• Two-hour season premiere — a “Mad Men movie.”
• Season theme: “deal with your own problems by yourself.”
• At the end of season 4, Don proposed to Megan, and she accepted — but that doesn’t mean they get married (hmmmmmm.)
• Past season were chocolate ice-cream. This season is orange sherbet. If you don’t like it, you don’t like ice cream — it’s still ice cream.

Can’t wait ’til March 25 to see what the heck Weiner is talking about…

Now imagining an Apple ad done up in this sort of minimalism…

Extra credit for not using “Don Draper” and instead going with his lesser-known alter ego.

Anyhow, it seems Portlandia is broadening its scope with an episode devoted to a show I actually have watched: Battlestar Galactica. Said episode features a couple addicted to the series and hitting up Ronald D. Moore and James Callis to create more episodes. And if that all sounds too un-hipster for you, Jeff Goldblum and Eddie Vedder allegedly make appearances.

The whole BSG-themed episode is streaming online in advance of its air date. And if that one goes over well, I hope Portlandia pays homage to a show more appropriate to the whole small town, Northwest vibe: Twin Peaks (they already have Kyle MacLachlan as mayor). David Lynch is still sorta hip, isn’t he?

Don Draper definitely has a Generation X sulkiness and reluctance to adhere to much of anything — he’s secretive, keeps his past under wraps, and seems ready to jump ship at any moment. He looks down on the upcoming hippie generation, telling beatniks that he sleeps on a bed of money — not unlike this current Generation X screed regarding the Occupy Now movement. He’s too busy earning a living and holding his family together to protest stuff. Besides, he’s doing pretty well at stuffing that bed of money to want to burn the whole joint down.

And one big reason why I keep watching the show is to see whether Don Draper will be able to adapt to the societal changes we all know are coming — will he figure out the hippies are really about to change the world for better or worse, and what will his reaction be?

Maybe there is some message here for Generation X and our reluctance to see the Millennials overturn the system before the Baby Boomers retire and we get our our parent’s management jobs — but frankly, I’m too tired to put the pieces together right now. Now if only I had a bed of money to sleep on…

Well — not really; Hamm’s a bit too Cary-Grant-gravelly — just wishful thinking on my part for more crossover between my personal obsessions of Mad Men and Apple.

Personally, I haven’t watched the series, despite people bugging me repeatedly over the years that I should. But I’m gonna get started — there’s now incentive to get caught up over the next year before the new episodes air, plus all the old episodes are currently available on Netflix Watch Instantly. One has no excuse.

The mind also turns to other series that Netflix could resurrect. The Internetz would explode at the thought of new Firefly, but how about new Twin Peaks (directed by David Lynch himself), or Star Trek: Excelsior starring George Takei (the unambiguously “out“er space version).

Anyhow, here’s hoping currently troubled Netflix can last through 2012 without going under or being acquired by some other company. No-one wants the new Arrested Development to uh — die during development.

“I do know how the whole show ends,” he told us. “It came to me in the middle of last season. I always felt like it would be the experience of human life. And human life has a destination. It doesn’t mean Don’s gonna die. What I’m looking for, and how I hope to end the show, is like … It’s 2011. Don Draper would be 84 right now. I want to leave the show in a place where you have an idea of what it meant and how it’s related to you. It’s a very tall order, but I always talk about Abbey Road. What’s the song at the end of Abbey Road? It’s called ‘The End.’

So — Really Old Hopefully Not Sad Don Draper. Is he dying of lung cancer or a hole-ridden liver? Or doing extreme elder yoga in California? We won’t definitely know until 2015-something.

The effect is personally rather unsettling (what would Peggy make of the Internet?) but the point is solid: Facebook is targeting our desire for nostalgia; to relive old memories. A concept older than Bertram Cooper’s war injury.

Sounds like a hit product. And I imagine Don Draper and his fellow sixties ad men would drool over all the ad data Facebook is collecting.

Note: the original clip is from the episode The Wheel, where Draper pitches the Kodak slide projector “carousel.”

Meanwhile, Netflix announced lackluster earnings and the stock has plummeted accordingly — like the silhouette in Mad Men’s opening credits. I need a stiff drink.

Still — can’t give up A Beautiful Mine. And where’s Trudy?

Mad Men Opening Titles Re-Design from Paul Rogers on Vimeo.

And this is where my entertainment and tech interests collide in a not-so-good way.

Much to the chagrin of the spouse — fashion is one area where I am largely ambivalent. Function follows form; comfort over style. I prefer a small collection of practical clothes and stick to them over years, blissfully unaware of current trends — the exact same style of Sketchers shoes, camp shirts, T-shirts, slacks, and a rotating handful of solid-colored jackets. About the extent of personal “look” preference are argyle-patterned socks and sweaters, some jokey tech-oriented t-shirts, and a white jacket reminiscent of Star Trek The Motion Picture. And all clothing sports a few adhering cat hairs — a problem when one of my favorite t-shirts is a black OS X one, scored after standing in line at an Apple Store… you get the idea.

This slow slide into nerd couture is the result of growing up a sunny climate and currently living in California where the weather is mostly uniform — no need for a rotating, seasonal wardrobe. I also blame a series of tech / office jobs where nobody gave a crap what anybody was wearing most of the time — casual Fridays extended to every day of the year.

So the retro-cool Mad Men suits — I couldn’t pull off that look if I tried. The last suit I bought was over a decade ago for our wedding, and it only sees the light of day once a year (if that) for someone else’s wedding or a job interview.

And a final note: I totally get why Steve Jobs wears the same outfit, like a tech cartoon character. He probably settled upon that black turtle neck, jeans, and running sneakers years ago for practical reasons, and sees no reason to change. Fashion-wise, am definitely, un Mad-Men–ly, headed there.

The best part of this deal is its finality. Mad Men now has a clear end date which is a luxury many shows don’t have. Now a very clear ending arc could be crafted.

I’m also super-psyched that the time period covered over three years will certainly cover 1967 at the very least. They may even manage to end things in 1970, meaning the show would cover a full decade. And with those last three years were unquestionably epic times, they’ll make an amazing contrast to the stiff collars / drinks of the first season.

Ken getting blown away in ‘Nam, Don getting pissed off at hippies, Betty going Valley Of The Dolls, Peggy getting mixed up with Black Panthers — or owning her own ad firm — bring it on.

Personally, I could stand the loss of Harry Crane, Bertram Cooper, or even Betty (after her one-note story line in season 4) but all others are in my mind off-limits (can Trudy and I boycott the show). But figuring out which cast members are expendable is a diversion. There’s a truly maddedning possibility that AMC will continue the show without Weiner. And I’d imagine some of the cast members reluctant to continue in his absence — Jon Hamm himself has said “We can’t do the show without Matthew.” And there is no Mad Men without Don Draper.

I just want to say all this Hollywood-business bullshit runs the risk of ruining the show, just when it’s on the cusp of greatness — depicting the last years of American’s tumultuous decade.

I really hope all these rumors are just negotiation tactics and some good news arrives soon. Until then I shall be Sad Don Draper.

Now based on the mess made of Battlestar Galactica’s season 4 — you may see this delay as simply, terrible news. But I see a possible, wafer-thin silver lining.

So far, each season has covered approximately a year of the sixties, and season 4 saw the end of 1965. Skipping a year in production might necessitate a similar jump in time (biggest reason being the inevitable aging of the young actress who plays Sally Draper) possibly placing season 5 partly in 1967 when stuff really started coming apart during that tumultuous decade.

I’ve always hoped the series would last long enough to show Don blowing his top at hippies, Vietnam protests, race riots, Betty addicted to pot, and maybe a few characters getting blown away in ‘Nam. This all would be an awesome, epic contrast to the series beginnings in 1960. And a season 5 (and therefore) 6 delay may actually make that more likely.

Not that I’m pleased about no Mad Men in 2011 by any means, but this shall be my a coping mechanism over the bone-dry Old Fashioned-free months to come…

See you in 2011.

There’s some amusement in Don Draper having the same alignment as a gelatinous cube…

The only prediction I’ll make is a reiteration and conclusion of the season’s thesis “Who is Don Draper?” and the theme “what we want vs. what’s expected of us,” stated by Faye in the episode Christmas Comes But Once A Year. Don is expected to lead SCDP to success while his non-existent home life is in shambles, Peggy chooses work over domesticity, Betty fulfills domestic and societal expectations, but with no soul. And lurking beneath is the undercurrent of change, to which one must adapt or be swept away, paralleling the impending social changes of the late sixties.

Other than that, the rest are details:

• The season title “Tomorrowland” may refer to Disneyland, or perhaps the soon-arriving, chaotic late sixties.
• Maybe a return of the investigation into Don’s background.
• Don hasn’t made a clear choice between Faye or Megan; perhaps he intends to juggle both.
• Pete and Peggy are clearly the firm’s rising stars, while Roger, Cooper, and Lane all have exit potential. The younger folks rising, the old folks fading away.
• Sally seems certain to do something-very-bad / shocking.
• Have doubts Joan really took care of that problem.
• Don’t care what happens to Betty.

The real suspense in this final episode is “What Will Don Draper Do?” Will he rise to the occasion once again (as at the end of season 3) and save the firm, or do something else entirely? We’ll soon find out.

Highlights of the season so far: the one-egg challenge, name-the-ingredient “pressure test,” Sheetal’s crab dilemma, and Whitney and Sharone’s souflee bake off.

My personal favorite contestants were Jake, the Santa Cruz construction worker who whipped up pea puree and Mike, the hyperactive beef tataki maestro, but unfortunately, both were eliminated.

The final four has boiled down to Lee, Sheetal, Whitney, and David. Sheetal seems outmatched, while David’s personality is a bit too bizarre. I’d like the fennel loving, gazpacho-wielding Lee to win, but Whitney baking skills, compliments throughout the show (the judges continually call her “smart”), combined with Ramsay’s predilection for choosing potential over experience (Hell’s Kitchen) — means Whitney wins.

Yeah, none of that criteria has much to do with cooking skills, but hey, that’s reality television. I look forward to being proven wrong.

Examples:

Every Lightsaber Ignition and Retraction in Star Wars

Every Cigarette Smoked in Mad Men

Every That’s What She Said from The Office

Every “Boom” Uttered by Steve Jobs During Keynotes

More to come in the future, I’m sure…

A little something to tide one over until season four. To celebrate the end of season three, the cast and crew of Mad Men recorded a crazy rendition of Bye Bye Birdie — nod to the episode The Arrangements.

Good bits: Another reason to like Elisabeth Moss (Peggy). Favorite actors look strange in t-shirts — or none at all. John Hamm lives up to his last name.

Breaking with a tradition of episode-by-episde reviews, I shall summarize my feelings on the entire first half season of Caprica in this one post — and a minimum of paragraphs.

Anyone with some interest in the pilot could skip all the episodes between then and the last two (Ghosts In The Machine and the half-season finale End Of Line), and not really miss anything — and probably like the series better. Everything said in an earlier post regarding my disappointment with the series essentially still applies (Caprica: So Say We Don’t).

The half season finale did wrap up some long-running threads, but in uninteresting ways. I’m still dumbfounded that the so-called computer genius Daniel Graystone took this long to figure out where his daughter’s avatar ended up and what to do about it in regards to his business. The Cylon prototype making a run for it was a so-bad-its-good moment. I’m annoyed by the sudden death of one character, unenthused by the potential suicide of another, and disappointed by the rug basically ripped out from beneath Joe Adama (he travelled all that way, through so many episodes, for this?).

It’s a bad sign when terrible things happen to characters and you just don’t care, because no emotional connection exists. I never felt invested in these characters’ fates.

Rumor has SyFy wanting to create another BSG spinoff show, presumably to replace Caprica since it’s still struggling to find an audience. Whether Caprica will be renewed for a second season is unknown. I personally, am not likely watch the second half of season one when (in true Syfy fashion) it airs in October.

The series’ best moment was Daniel Graystone orders the Cylon prototype to shoot his pet dog. I hope SyFy shoots this dog (Caprica) — and doesn’t use blanks.

After not watching The Bachelor for literally, several years, got sucked into this season featuring Jake, a hunky blonde pilot.

What a mistake.

Things went wrong from the first episode. One contestant named Rozlyn got kicked off for having an “inappropriate relationship” with a show producer. Bad move, because that was some juicy conflict (plus she was pretty hot). From there until the finale, the only other moment worth mentioning was San Francisco Marina-ite Ali, forced to quit in order to keep her job. What company would be worth ditching love? Facebook. Well, with all the free meals and potential IPO, that makes sense. I should have taken a cue from Ali and quit watching.

After endless reams of cheesy greeting-card platitudes and weepy, forced goodbyes, Jake’s final choice came down to opposites: Tenley the dancer who worked for Disney, so bubbly and girly a competitor said she “***s rainbows,” or Vienna, the blonde, slightly cross-eyed, Beverley Hills chihuaua lover that the other women contestants disliked, surely in the “I’m not here to make friends” category. Warning sign: Jake’s family preferred Tenley.

So who did Jake choose? Vienna. The super-skank over the sweetheart. I hate this show; I’m never watching another episode again.

What with watching and devoting many blog posts to Battlestar Galactica, checking out this season of Caprica is a given, and I had high hopes for this new series.

The hope is fading, and I may reneg on that obligation.

The first new episode (Rebirth) began with an unsettling, Star Wars prequels feeling. We have a CGI introduction of a city scape and an impossible camera move into a pyramid game. The show’s ornate credits try to explain visually, several characters and their purpose, but can’t, as the show’s scope is already quite complicated. Computer genius Daniel Graystone, inventor of the Cylons, has unwittingly placed his dead daughter Zoe in the body of a robot. She was a terrorist, with connections to a mysterious monotheistic cult, of which a school headmaster is a member. Meanwhile, a family of gangsters has tragic connection to the computer genius, and the best friend of the daughter in the robot… are you confused yet?

Yet despite this ambitious scope and myriad of characters to draw upon, the show moves way too slowly. Already, after just two new episodes, there’s a long roster of new characters and situations I can’t keep track of, while wondering why. It’s a messy mix of teen drama, family conflict, sci fi, religious allusions, and a cop show. Not helping: the characters aren’t as strongly defined as those of Battlestar Galactica — no paranoid selfish, Baltar, gruff Tigh, or even hot Cylons to gawk at. The Capricans seem like early models of the relatively dull Billy, Helo, or Tory.

The only character I have any interest in, is Zoe Graystone. Unfortunately, she’s dead, only existing as a digital “avatar” residing in a Cylon body. Perhaps realizing the dramatic limitations, scenes alternate between a CGI cylon and the actress. She does appear in the virtual world along with her friend Lacy’s avatar and Joe Adama’s dead daughter, but so far, the series hasn’t spent much time there.

I can’t help but recall Battlestar Galactica’s first season, which had a very clear, straightforward premise — the human race, overwhelmed by the mysterious cylons is struggling to survive. A one sentence explanation of what’s going on and why you should be watching. One viewing of 33 and I was hooked.

Yes, Caprica is a very different show than BSG. But I ask myself during each viewing: would I be watching this, if it had no connection to that other show? The answer so far, is clearly, no.

Really hope the show picks up the pace and starts tying these threads together, or it’s on a clear path to cancellation.

= 3 stars

Starring Dean Stockwell, Tricia Helfer, Michael Trucco
Directed by Edward James Olmos

Synopsis

Revisit the events of Battlestar Galactica seasons 1 and 2 from the Cylon point of view.

The Good

• Impressive attention to continuity, as nearly every episode from the first two seasons is revisited with tiny twists, explaining small details such as how Brother Cavil came to be among the pyramid ball players, the appearance and disappearance of Shelly Godfrey, who wrote “Cylon” on Sharon’s locker, and what exactly spurred chief to consider suicide, etc.
• Was good to see the hellish destruction of the colonies, and certain characters like Number 4 (the doctor) who after appearing on Caprica in the hospital kind of got sidelined, as well as more of the Anton Doral models. Also liked seeing more of Anders’ time on Caprica.
• Cavil is completely unaware of the six in Baltar’s head, and Starbuck’s otherworldly origins aren’t addressed, so we can definitively say the Cylons had nothing to do with either.
• Tricia Helfer parades around in black underwear.

The Bad

• While impressive in its attention to continuity, the plot jumps around so much as to be incomprehensible to anyone who hasn’t watched the series.
• While the movie tries to suggest the Cylons had a plan, it’s haphazard and improvisational, and hardly a plan at all. We have one Brother Cavil aboard Galactica, telling all the colons aboard Galactica to do things that we remember from the series, and another on Caprica manipulating the pyramid ball players. Shouldn’t we get more point of view of the Brother Cavil aboard the Cylon home fleet, moving things along as well? What about the 6 on the Pegasus; was anybody guiding her? So both Cavils, while scary and manipulative, come across more like terrorist leaders performing random acts of violence than any sort of logical puppet master manipulating everything toward some higher end. There isn’t really a plan.
• Tricia Helfer’s black underwear parade takes place with Cavil in bed next to her. That guy gets too much action.
• Only goes until the end of season 2.

Conclusion

Much like how season 4 tied itself in knots trying to explain everything that came before (in particular the final five amidst the fleet), The Plan is revisionist history, trying to make the Cylons look smarter than they really were, and largely coming up short, because the series creators didn’t have a plan, either. I enjoyed watching this movie, but it left me wishing the series creators — not just the Cylons — had a better plan of their own.