Cool just for the synopsis outline of Wall Street II.

This one dude didn’t like Up, a movie which practically everyone else really enjoyed. Both the review and comments beneath are worth reading just to entertain a contrarian opinion and witness a hostile reaction.

If David Lynch directed Dirty Dancing.

Another amusingly contrarian opinion: provided you still have a job, the recession is actually a pretty good time to score some great deals on crap you haven’t already bought (houses, cars, flat panel televisions). The flip side of the recession.

Shatner gives Conan the finger.

Making movies from board games. Do not want…

David Fincher might direct a Facebook movie.

Is this article a joke?

R U a webdesigner and BSG fan?

Chuqui 3.0 shares his personal weight loss experience. His diet tips are helpful for everyone:

Why an emergency fund is preferable to credit cards, or any sort of loan.

A burnt out programmer.

Review of a leaked TRON 2 script.

Best of Twitter.

Play Helen off, Keyboard cat.

This fantasy is the “cheat.” The desire for a “do over.” To blatantly wheedle one’s way out of the grim situation, get away with it, and come out on top.

We’re currently in, to put it lightly, a disillusioning time as a nation — facing a national “no-win” scenario. It seems no matter what we do, the America dream will be harder to achieve than just a few years ago. And this larger national one is made up of smaller “no-win” scenarios everywhere we look.

I’ll outline a small “no-win” scenario in particular: this Tuesday California has a special election for budget measures. If they pass, California still faces a $12 billion dollar budget deficit. If they fail (which they most likely will, based on polls), the budget deficit increases to something like $21 billion. Either way, California loses and the state is essentially, bankrupt, resulting in drastic layoffs and cuts in services.

Meanwhile, the new Star Trek movie presents two “heroes” faced with insurmountable odds, and essentially give them the finger. Kirk, who doesn’t believe in a no-win scenario, reprograms a computer to pass the no-win Kobyashi Maru scenario, dodges being reprimanded, and goes on to save lives and win promotions and the respect of his peers. Old Spock also cheats — he goes back in time chooses to alter history to save Earth, destroying his own timeline in an ultimate “do over.”

Such drastic action would be to only way to save California’s budget (think going back in time and obliterating Prop 13), but many of us would love to cheat and fix our own, personal past mistakes: don’t buy that overpriced house. Don’t spend so much on pointless crap we’re now selling because of job loss. I’d personally not have spent so much time thinking good times could last indefinitely and prepare more for a worst-case scenario. The Kobayashi Maru test is everywhere we look, and so many of us have failed, while others just haven’t realized it yet. And we can’t cheat our way out of these situations by going back in time or believing they don’t exist.

While past Trek adventures presented messages of environmentalism or tolerance, today’s Trek is somewhat troubling in that it presents an escapist fantasy. Past Trek celebrated an optimistic future that seemed likely (think back to the space race), while the new Trek believes the only way to create that brighter future is to alter the past — a obvious impossibility for our timeline’s bleak present and likely future.

I find them funny as video Schadenfreude + LOLcat + a ridiculous pattern that becomes funnier with repeated viewing. An impending bad thing is set up. Cut to keyboard cat waiting to strike. Bad thing happens. Electronic drums begin. Keyboard cat starts playing happy song. Bad thing happens again in slow mo. Keyboard cat continues playing. Small unintentionally funny moments like keyboard cat closing his eyes as the song ends and one stray note compete the experience. It’s a video Fail Whale.

The first one is the original, followed by some others I found particularly amusing. That beware of dog one is a freaking classic.

Original

Can we talk about this later?

Classic afro ninja given the keyboard cat treatment

Tidy pants

Beware of dog

A few things I found interesting about his story:

• It all started when him and his newlywed wife got into too much house they couldn’t afford. They weren’t making much money as a couple but were approved for $500K based on great credit. After that it was essentially a downward slide as they were putting out more money than they were bringing in every month and the debt started ballooning to a ridiculous $50K on credit cards. At that point you’re behind even before you lift a finger to try and get ahead. So they ransack their retirement accounts and borrow from family all accomplishing nothing.
• He doesn’t place blame on other people, with a pretty juicy quote from the mortgage broker: “Who am I to tell you that you shouldn’t do what you want to do? I am here to sell money and to help you do what you want to do. At the end of the day, it’s your signature on the mortgage — not mine.”
• My eyes rolled at the point he realizes they’re underwater but continues spending: “The charges included almost $350 for groceries, $700 in clothes from J. Crew, $179 at GapKids and $700 for airplane tickets for two of Patty’s children to visit their father in Los Angeles. Our balance climbed from $14,118 to $17,135, and in January 2006 we maxed out at our $19,000 credit limit.” All that crap has to be cut out — slash spending 101. Screw vacations and new clothes, seriously.
• Both he and his wife have very different opinions about money. He’s freaking out and she’s saying it will all work out somehow, yet she’s the one who has trouble holding a job. 

All in all, the most troubing aspect of the tale is it’s not very surprising. The whole article is fascinating in the details, but the overall arc of a road to hell paved with the best intentions is all too familiar. Some comments are coming in from people who sympathize or can relate to this exact situation, which is no surprise seeing how 1 in 5 homes are underwater. The American dream is increasingly, financed with debt.

Fiscally conservative Americans are the exception, not the rule — and a huge reason why we’re in this mess.

I’m on a big ABBA kick. It will get worse.

112 Ways To Save Money

C’mon, you must be trying to save money these days. Frugal is the new black.

SpreadTweet

Twitter client that looks like Excel.

Disney’s Tron 2 Will Cost $300 Million To Make

The original Tron was cutting edge computer graphics and animation. If this next one is going to be as cutting edge, money must be blown.

What Cats Teach Us About Success

I sometimes look at our cats and am amazed at how happy they can be with a cardboard box.

Finally Found Out Why My Cat Kept Vomiting

One of our cats was throwing up a lot last week. Turned out to be a massive hairball. Shevonne realized her cat was barfing because of dry skin. Making a mental note of that one.

Reality Check: You Aren’t Going To Make Any Money From Your Blog

Agree. Based on the hours put into this here blog, I’d make more flipping burgers. That’s why I call it a hobby and give all the ad revenue away as contests. Don’t want any encouragement to quit the day job.

Tech Expert: Twitter is fun but “overhyped”

Good points here. #1: Twitter has tons of users but is small potatoes compared to Facebook. And Facebook isn’t profitable.

Fiber optic line damaged, service outages in Silicon Valley

People’s Internet access, websites, and cell phone access were affected. Twitter not so useful during an emergency with no Internet access.

Adobe Creative Suite Pillows

Hat tip Zee on FriendFeed.

First Behind the Scenes Footage from Stallone’s The Expendables

Stallone yells and points a gun, and ends with an explosion. I’m sure that’s essentially the gist of the whole movie.

Ridley Scott Considering Alien Prequel / Reboot

Do not want. Alien is awesome. The last two were unwatchable. Hollywood’s sequel-itis depresses me.

See Otter Has More Friends Than You

Give up now.

Amy Adams Wants To Wear Rubber

Just seeing if you’re still reading.

Guess there’s a trend of people dubbing awful guitar playing over actual videos. This one is the funniest — Santana and Eric Clapton. Funnier are the other band members that suck even harder.

Rubik’s Nostrils

Director Michel Gondry solves a rubiks cube with his nose.

Sick of Cynical News? Check Out These Websites.

All positive news, all the time. Then when everything goes to hell, plead ignorance and ask for a bailout.

Is Twitter Useless And Overhyped?

David Risley asks. I’d answer no to the first but yes to the second.

Design Coding Rap

Web design SEO rap about web design. Actually some good tips in this. Of course, he mentions Twitter.

Good Lord, You People Are All Slobs

Gizmodo asked people to send in pictures of their cluttered workspaces. I’m not the neatest person, but many of these photos made me cringe. If your desk is this messy, you definitely need a laptop — because there’s nowhere else to park your computer…

Sign 59,299 of the Apocalypse: More Ridiculous Clothing

The Peekaru. If you find this remotely appealing, please unsubscribe from this blog.

Seriously.

Steven Hodson Really Didn’t Like The Real-Time Aspect Of The New FriendFeed

At least, I’m pretty sure. Kind of hard to tell, the post is rather subtle.

But Seriously, These Work

Try these simple stretching exercises for carpal tunnel / tendonitis.

Hypo Allergenic Cat was Fake

I remember reading about these specially bred cats a few years ago, well, it turns out it was all a big scam.

Things iPhoto Thinks Are Faces, But Aren’t

iPhoto’s face recognition occasionally frames odd things as a face. Here’s an amusing gallery of facial misfires.

Put your lunch on a scanner and scan it.

Kitchen Nightmare Candidate?

Michelen star restaurant The Fat Duck induces diarrhea and vomiting. Paging Gordon Ramsay…

Saturday Morning Watchmen

If the folks who did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Snorks, or the MC Hammer cartoons got a hold of Watchmen. Awesome.

Watchmen / Wall-E Mashup

This hilarious, spot on mashup essentially sums up one of my complaints about the Watchmen movie — Snyder’s overuse of slow mo and camera moves to everything. Here they’re applied to Wall-E.

Common English Language Errors

I should read this entire list and apply it to this blog.

Frontline: Ten Trillion And Counting

Great Frontline documentary. Seems we Americans should expect less and a lower standard of living in the future — at the very least, higher taxes and decreased government benefits. Related: The Quiet Coup.

Former Amazon Employee Outlines Amazon Values

Two things: The customer comes first, and frugality. Very inspirational. Also pretty cool: Bezos spends a week working in an Amazon shipping warehouse.

Conservatives Embrace the Snuggie

Okay, now I am really not getting one.

Drunk People Wear Snuggies While Barhopping

Okay, now I am really not getting one.

Crocs Go Out Of Business

Hmmm, trendy but illogical clothing company going out of business. Snuggie? Snuggie?

I Hate Crocs

Of course, there is a website devoted to Croc hate. Read the battle between croc haters and lovers. Yes.

Andy Bumatai Gets Online

I guess I’m out of touch with Hawaii enough to not know Andy Bumatai has had a late night talk show for a while now. Segments are posted online. He’s into social media (specifically Twitter) and has a fair number of geeky guests — specifically Bill Sodeman, who directed me to Andy’s show.

David Lynch’s Transcendental Meditation Website

Speaking of celebrities getting all social media, David Lynch has a new website.

Recession Has Some Dropping Broadband

I could never do this — I can think of many other things we’d cut first (magazine subscriptions, eating out, personal hygiene) before broadband, but granted I make my living through the web and a lot of our home entertainment options rely on it. But for those who just do email and surf the web, I suppose food and shelter are more important.

Good, Bad, Mixed Comments On The Battlestar Galactica Finale

Well, that people are still talking about it can be seen as a good thing.

Just watch it.

Ugly Bat Boy

Rather scary, largely hairless cat that lives in a vet’s office. He has a nice demeanor.

Bizkit the Sleep Walking Dog

Dog is dreaming about something exciting. In this one, poor doggie runs into the wall.

Nazi Bankers

Was just a matter of time, but this series is pretty good — scenes from Downfall with subtitles reflecting the financial crisis.

Pepsi Logo Reminds Me Of Don Draper

I don’t understand the appeal of the Snuggie. As far as I am concerned, it’s just a bathrobe you wear backwards. But it also represents a pathetic last gasp of desperate consumerism, by people are too broke to flip another house — or even leave their house — but they want something useful, warm, and comforting to use at home as the economy goes to hell and the power gets shut off. Here’s a clue: buying more useless consumer stuff won’t make you feel warm and comfy.

After a bit of Internet searching, I learned there are two competing products called the Slanket and the Freedom Blanket which is basically the same retarded idea.

You’ve got to love this paragraph on the Freedom Blanket website:

STOP THE THEIVES — SNUGGIE & SLANKET STOLE OUR IDEA AND WE NEED YOUR HELP…Please send an email to info@freedomblanket.com or join our email list to support our cause.

Who knew the market for late night infomercial backwards bathrobe crapola was so cuthroat?

• The WTF Blanket
• Snuggie vs. Slanket Grudge Match

Kermit Bale

Somebody for some reason decided to compare Christian Bale and Kermit the frog. Maybe this has something to do with his tirade, maybe not. All I can say is the visual argument is humorously convincing — there are about 200+ images of both Christan and Kermit in similar poses.

Can this kind of image comparison be incorporated into the next version of iPhoto?

Halted Specialties

Never heard of Halted Specialties Company but it sounds like a cool place — a bargain bin of used computer hardware parts where Jobs and Woz shopped to build the first Apple. It’s in Santa Clara so one of these days I should check it out. I will offer up that there’s a similar place but for crafties called Scrap up in San Francisco.

Teach Recalls Getting Dosed By Acid By A Student

Ah, you’ll just have to read it. Along with The Lorax.

Please Raise My Taxes

Yet another reason why I love Netflix. Great idea. Wrapped up in this concept: as a proud card-carrying member of the middle class, I’m sick of being asked to go out and shop, stimulate the economy, or pony up micropayments to save failing business models. The average American consumer is tapped out; didn’t you get the memo?

So here we have the CEO of Netflix saying, I make a lot of money, and am willing to pay half of my earnings in taxes. I say take him up on the offer. There are a lot of wealthy people in this nation who still have a lot of money. Better them than us average folks who ain’t got nothing. I can’t even justify buying a Snuggie — you think I can stimulate the economy?

Tron

So as a kid I begged my parents to see Tron. Now there’s a new Tron sequel in the works. I am looking forward to it. Tron is cool when it meets Depeche Mode.

Fake Gordon Ramsay Blog

Hell’s Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares are guilty pleasures of mine and while looking to see if Gordon Ramsay has a restaurant in San Francisco (he doesn’t) I happened upon a fake Gordon Ramsay blog. It’s freaking hilarious. Just read the posts with the stressed-out Ramsay voice in your mind and it makes sense. Here’s a post called “Newsflash Lardass: Cheese Fries Aren’t Good For You.” The secret sauce: the comments.

That’s it for this week’s random stuff assignment — more next week I am sure.

Screen Recursion

Probably due to the aforementioned cold medication I shared the screen of my MacMini from the MacBook and then decided to see what my MacBook screen then looked like from the MacMini. The result was an initially forbidding tunnel that at first I thought my Mac would explode, but thankfully the OS X team is smarter than that.

What’s kind of funny: any activity you make on the first screen cascades down the smaller ones with a slight delay, so you’re sort of going back in time.

Of course I am not the first person to do this. Also see this video.

Headset Hotties

I can only explain this to being really bored and looking to the oddest things for inspiration. The blog Headset Hotties is dedicated to those little heads of eye-candy that spice up the call center information on many a website.

I’d just add that the Macintosh reseller ads in many a Mac magazine are notorious for this stuff, MacMall in particular. 

Angry Chrisitan Bale

You can listen to Christan Bale getting pissed at a Director of Photography walking into the background of a scene he was trying to film for Terminator: Salvation. While the F-bombs are funny enough, I got more amusement trying to imagine what exactly the visuals of this scene were. Was there some post-apocalyptic set with grim Terminator bones scattered around, and then this dude in a baseball cap and Bermuda shorts wanders into the background (I say Bermuda shorts because it would be funnier).

But of course, someone decided to set the meme-y tirade to music. Someone else decided to shove it through Microsoft Songsmith. And another person created a Christian Bale soundboard. Oh, and a T-shirt. Wait, I thought Terminator was supposed to be the new franchise?

Dolph Lundgren’s Back

I’m trying hard to not remember the movie’s name because I don’t want to even entertain the thought that I would see it. But it seems, since Sylvester Stallone made a big comeback with Rocky and Rambo movies nobody thought were good ideas at the time, someone thought a new Dolph Lundgren (who played Ivan Drago in Rocky IV) would be a good idea — or  a currently bad idea that will hopefully turn good once the movie is a hit. The Mr. T. vehicle must be in the works.

Anyhow the trailer lays out the story — Dolph is a drummer in a rock band and at some point in the movie, a concert turns into “Die Hard” with hostages and gun play. The awesomeness thing about the trailer? Cowbell.

The movie that I am actually looking forward to that has Dolph Lundgren in it is the next Sylvester Stallone flick The Expendables, which sounds so brain-dead ridiculous it should be awesome. After all, these 80s action heroes are nothing but “expendable.”

Enterprise vs. Galactica

These nerd battles amuse me. Analysis of weaponry aside, I think the Enterprise would win for one big reason: morale. The crew of the Enterprise is far more unified, plus healthier, while the Galactica crew are on the verge of mutiny and running low on supplies of all kinds. Lastly in true Trek tradition I am sure Kirk and a landing party could easily teleport over to Galactica, switch Tigh’s sauce with Romulan ale, screwing everything up, and then teleport back before the first vipers could launch.

The battle of alternate universes has a long history should you choose to dive down that rabbit hole. Nerds have contemplated Star Wars vs. Star Trek. Please don’t think about this subject too hard, or you’ll spend the next several months making videos like this:

25 Incredibly Geeky T-Shirts

For the nerd in your life that can’t be bothered to go clothes-shopping. I think #1 would come in handy. I am sick of being asked to fix email and explain why Spider Solitare vanished from the desktop. Web design != IT. Wait, that’s too geeky. #1 is much better.

Note: This post was written in exchange for a crappy spider drawing. Send me a crappy spider drawing along with a subject for a post and I’ll write it, no questions asked.

Now that the stock market is hitting new lows and layoffs are on the rise, it’s understandable people are getting a bit bummed out. I’m not exactly a pillar of happy happy joy joy but I’ve managed to maintain an aura of stability, partly because I went through a similarly crappy time at the tail end of the .com crash and harbor an unfortunate love for 1970 sci-fi dystopia films. Next to talking apes and a sperm extractor hooked to Kevin Costner’s nether-regions, a prolonged recession look like a walk in the park.

Anyhow here are some suggestions for keeping your sense of humor during these trying times:

1. Schadenfreude.
2. Watch funny, uplifting movies: I put on Singin’ In The Rain whenever I feel down, but one could also check out Once, The Pursuit Of Happyness, A Fish Called Wanda, or It’s A Wonderful Life.
3. Pick one of these phrases as your new mantra: Sh**t happens. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Money is the root of all evil. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
4. Remember how much fun we had as a broke college students. Illegal activities aside, somehow we were able to enjoy ourselves on a student loan imposed budget of $20 a week. Sitting in a bookstore for hours, making one cup of coffee stretch by pushing free refills to the limit, debating the impossibility of time travel, or covering the ceiling with string. I ate pasta, beer, and rice for a month straight with no ill effects — not too far off from depression era egg drop soup.
5. Maybe the joke’s on you. It’s possible this is all some big cosmic joke and someone is having a laugh at your expense. For example, you paid your mortgage on time for years and now some materialistic deadbeat who took out an interest only loan gets a bailout. Ha, ha. Maybe it’s time to laugh along with them, and at yourself.
6. LOLcats. Our pet cats are content despite having no clothes, eating the same food every day, and having a mere box with a pile of sand to poop in. But you certainly don’t need an interest-only loan to purchase a cardboard box, which serves its purpose and is infinitely more fascinating. Maybe the cats are the ones laughing at us (see number 4).
   
7. Pretend. Replace “$” with something meaningless like “crappy spider drawings.” This strategy makes terrible financial news more tolerable. For example: “Financials Need At Least 1.2 Trillion Crappy Spider Drawings” is just so much more fun to swallow. I’m pretending my 401K is filled with puffed rice kernels and used dental floss.
8. Get a cheap hobby. Something fun and new, hopefully social, that doesn’t require much expense, but gets you appreciating the simpler things in life. Riding a bike, volunteering at the food bank, feral cat photography, underwater shoelace tying, used chewing gum collector, crappy spider art appraiser, etc. If you take up the last one, I’d like to hear from you.
9. Start a blog. Blogging is essentially putting words and pictures on a website and seeing if anybody gives a crap. It’s cheap — my hosting is $100 a year. You can maintain a killer blog with merely a steady supply of coffee, DVD rentals, and unemployment checks. From that foundation, you have unlimited potential to spread your creativity far and wide and get chuckles in return. I mean, I just read comments left on a post like this one and have no choice but to laugh — or cry.

Alright, I’ve had enough:

Obama for President

• The Economist endorsement I largely agree with.
• Obama grew up in Hawaii and I attended the same highschool. He hails from a multicultural, diverse background which is the inevitable future of this nation.
• He has shown a remarkable steadfastness and determination. Although he doesn’t have much government experience, the way he has run his campaign over the past nearly two years has been impressive — he dispatched the Clinton machine and is on the verge of defeating the Republican one as well.
• Obama stayed on the message of “change” while his opponents applied “change” to their messages, redefining themselves every few weeks.
• He knows how to leverage technology, organizing a masterful “crowd” network over the internet. I mean, the guy has a freaking iPhone App.

As for John McCain. there are two big negatives:

• The financial crisis and bad economy is bad news for the incumbent party.
• His VP pick of Palin emphasizes aspects of the Republican party I can least relate to. Imagine if he had chosen Romney or Bloomberg, either of whom have much more financial experience. His VP pick shows poor judgement on his part.

So I’m voting for Obama. I can’t say I’m totally convinced he’ll achieve all that he promises, but at least I have hope. That alone is more than I can say about McCain.

No on Measure 8

Here in California there is a measure banning gay marriage, essentially defining it as between a man and a woman. The wording is a little tricky — a “yes” vote means you want to ban gay marriage, and “no” means you support gay marriage. That alone could cause this measure to pass.

Anyhow, I see gay marriage as a civil rights issue. I have always been disturbed how interracial marriages were once outlawed in many states. I’m Japanese American and my wife is of German / Finnish descent.

Today we look back on those that supported segregation and wonder how they could be so closed-minded. I hope in fifty years we’ll look back on gay marriage and think much the same thing.

Several Silicon Valley companies — Apple, Yahoo!, and Google among them — support a “no” vote on this measure.

At the end of Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, Spencer Tracy, delivers a thoughtful monologue about the prospect of his daughter marrying an African-American:

“In the final analysis it doesn’t matter a damn what we think. The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel, for each other … there’ll be 100 million people right here in this country who will be shocked and offended and appalled and the two of you will just have to ride that out, maybe every day for the rest of your lives. You could try to ignore those people, or you could feel sorry for them and for their prejudice and their bigotry and their blind hatred and stupid fears, but where necessary you’ll just have to cling tight to each other and say ‘screw all those people’!”

“Anybody could make a case, a hell of a good case, against your getting married. The arguments are so obvious that nobody has to make them … I think that now, no matter what kind of a case some bastard could make against your getting married, there would be only one thing worse, and that would be if — knowing what you two are and knowing what you two have and knowing what you two feel– you didn’t get married.”

If two people love each other, and want to be united in marriage despite societal pressure that will make their lives very difficult — they must really love each other. That’s worth celebrating and encouraging. It’s really none of my business that they happen to be of the same gender.

Anyhow, just as a mental note, as the stock market takes a huge dive once again, the general trend among the “aged relatives” I’ve been hanging out with is the bad economy and everyone is pulling back. I think we’re definitely facing a consumer-led recession which will be a new sort of challenge for the economy as a whole. This isn’t something businesses will be able to solve themselves, by advertising more or cutting jobs to save money. Actually, the latter will probably make things much worse.

Even I have scaled back dramatically as my usual purchase about this time of year would be a MacBook to replace my old one, but I’m now eyeing these “netbooks” with a price point of $500. Actually, even that may be off the table when I tally up the final cost of this vacation we’re on. So, sorry, Asus, HP or whomever else I may have bought a “netbook” from — no consumer electronics purchases from me.

Still, as the market collapses, I couldn’t help but notice that Apple has gone well below $100. I wonder if I should pick up some more?

Nah, the beach beckons. And I’m sure there will be more “buying opportunities” from here until 2010. Time to enjoy the here and now, before it all goes to heck.

It may seem from recent posts that I’m a pessimist, but I follow the old adage of “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” This is not a doom-and-gloom perspective — I don’t hope the financial world collapses into chaos and we all run for the hills, gold and shotguns in hand. Rather, I find it empowering to research the worst-case scenario, and comforting to be prepared so you’re ready for anything. And then when the “best” or even the “average” happens — you can appreciate it that much more.

A good analogy is the ever-present threat of an earthquake here in the Bay Area. It’s guaranteed to happen at some point. We’re all advised to be prepared for that disaster. Being prepared does not mean you want the earthquake to happen, nor is it pessimistic to get prepared. It’s just smart, common sense. Another good analogy is wearing a seatbelt any time you’re driving a car.

Here’s a recent Time article that lays out some possible effects on us average joe middle class Americans:

So here’s a blog post that caught my eye that lays out potential best and worst case scenarios of the credit crunch for the immediate future:

The best case scenario: The bad banks continue to be bought up, there is no run on hedge funds next Tuesday, only mid-sized European banks fail, money market funds keep on buying commercial paper, and the Fed and Treasury continue to operate on a case-by-case basis. Since Congress doesn’t have to vote for something called “a bailout,” it can give Paulson and Bernanke more operational freedom than they would have otherwise had. The American economy is in recession for two years and unemployment does not rise above eight or nine percent.

The worst case scenario: Credit markets freeze up within the next week and many businesses cannot meet their payrolls. Margin calls cannot be met and the NYSE shuts down for a week. Hardly anyone can get a mortgage so most home prices end up undefined rather than low. There is an emergency de facto nationalization of banks to keep the payments system moving. The Paulson plan is seen as a lost paradise. There is no one to buy up the busted hedge funds, so government and the taxpayer end up holding the bag. The quasi-nationalized banks are asked to serve political ends and it proves hard to recapitalize them in private hands. In the very worst case scenario, the Chinese bubble bursts too.

Just stop and think — what does this worst case scenario imply? Well, the biggest bugaboo is “many businesses cannot meet their payrolls.” How many of us live paycheck to paycheck, and what panic will ensue if people don’t get paid on time? And note that even the “best” scenario doesn’t look all that hot, what with a recession and rising unemployment. It’s within the realm of possibility I could be out of a job in a year. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. And my personal solution is that old, conservative standby: 3 months’ worth of living expenses, minimum, in cash, at the ready — and ideally not at a bank that is about to go under.

But while we’ve put on the financial equivalent of a seat belt, here’s my form of optimism: Ultimately, I hope this crisis will be an impetus for Americans to take a long, hard look our personal finances and realize living paycheck to paycheck and slowly paying off high interest, personal debt is not a very smart way to go about things. We can move forward into a better world where we actually spend less than we earn and earn our American Dream — instead of financing it with monthly payments and passing the bill onto future generations. There’s nothing wrong, or pessimistic, of hoping for a future based on solid fundamentals instead of denial and debt. And based on the way things are going — the latter option will not even be an option for many.

The promise is that business for all us WaMu customers will continue as usual without any interruption, ideally meaning no run on the bank:

What Washington Mutual Customers Should Know and Do

• Feel confident that their deposits are secure
• Continue banking as you have — assured that your bank is now backed by the strength and security of JPMorgan Chase
• Continue to use the same checks. All checks will be processed as usual
• Continue to use the same account numbers
• Continue to use the same ATM card and credit card
• Continue to use the same ATMs
• Continue to use the same branches
• Continue paying your mortgage and credit card as you have. Checks should be made payable the same as they have been in the past, and payment addresses remain unchanged
• Continue using the same contact phone numbers, online service and websites
• Know that you will learn well in advance of improvements, additional conveniences and other changes

While I’m glad to see the promise of business as usual, I’m still glad I set up a back up checking account elsewhere. While once the rule of diversification applied to different asset classes, it now seems that advice holds to different financial institutions — including some cash in your mattress. I’m totally serious about that last point. When your bank fails, you don’t want to be stuck in line with other schmoes, It’s A Wonderful Life style.

So anyhow, while the politicians mess around and play stupid election games, the financial world is collapsing all around them. This depressing roller-coaster ride isn’t over  by a long shot.

Update: It’s now being reported that part of why WaMu went under was a good old fashioned bank run:

But the Office of Thrift Supervision said “significant deposit outflows” began on Sept. 15. “During the next eight business days, WaMu deposit outflows totaled $16.7 billion”…

About a year ago I wondered if the housing bubble was going to collapse and even affect the tech scene by dragging down the entire economy. I think at this point, contingency plans need to be set up for the worst case scenario.

Anyhow, after the string of bailouts, I’m now distracted by Washington Mutual, our primary bank. The more I read about what’s up with them the more concerned I become that they will fail.

Of course there is talk that the FDIC insures 100K and below, but reading articles where the FDIC could very well run out of money if a series of banks fail — well, isn’t exactly comforting.

That’s not to say that I don’t think that if I had funds wrapped up in a bank on the brink and had to get bills paid from that money that I wouldn’t proactively move my dollars to another, more solid bank. I would.

Basically, I rely on a bank to have money available 24/7, every day, because I have bills to pay. So I just opened another checking account at Fidelity, and will probably open another one at ING (where we have a savings account), both as contingency plans. I’m setting them up to pull all our money out of WaMu and am in the process of moving both our paychecks to be direct deposited elsewhere.

Yes, it’s true that by doing this, I’m effectively “running” from WaMu which is exactly what the government is telling us not to do. I don’t care. It’s my money and I have to do what it takes to preserve it. While it’s said I probably have nothing to worry about, and WaMu may or may not fail, I’m not going to passively sit still and find out. I can’t afford it. At the very least, I want to be first in line during the bank run, not the guy at the end getting the finger.

It’s sad that in this day and age, we have to worry about crap like this. But I guess this housing bubble thing is at last affecting all of us, even those who didn’t take out a risky mortgage.

I’ve ranted before about my at times ridiculous commute, going from San Mateo to San Francisco on the CalTrain and then going across town via the MUNI. The ridiculousness is that the first leg of my trip typically takes less time than the MUNI part. Wile CalTrain with its “Baby Bullet” rocks — the MUNI sucks.

MUNI is basically falling to pieces. They first screwed my commute royally with the introduction of the “T” line, cutting the route of the 82x, and eliminating the 15 for the 9AX which is a nightmare route through the hell that is Chinatown.

The F line to Embarcadero is somewhat acceptable, however it usually means riding an antique cable car meant for much smaller and fitter Europeans, not overweight and clueless tourists from Alabama. Meaning, whenever I take the F home, it’s a safe bet I’ll wait five minutes while boarding because of the inability to understand the words “exact change,” and another extra five for clueless rider mishaps. I then have to transfer to the N or T or whatever they’re calling it this month.

The plain truth is these freaking classic vintage cars, while pretty for yuppies to look at say “oh, what a charming cosmopolitan city we live in!” while they drive their Prius home, are utter bullshit when all you want to do is get from point A to point B. We’re talking handbrakes, wooden benches, doors that fly open, hurling Alabamans onto cobblestones (okay, I made that part up, but people do get run over), and rickety rattling that will surely be even more charming during the next, inevitable earthquake. For the utter stupidity of these light rail cars, read this long history at Roughly Drafted which I would love to reiterate here but my version would be filled with expletives.

So I’ve mostly been catching the traditional bus line “10 Townsend” which is borderline tolerable, except that since the 15 was canceled, it now makes a retarded zig zag route between Market Street and the Transbay Terminal. My morning 10 ride is typically so full I’m standing half the ride with my nose in someone’s iPod headphones and an umbrella in the small of my back.

Anyhow, I haven’t even gotten to the best part. Today I read that MUNI is now planning a complete overhaul in 2009, meaning new lines added, others eliminated, all with the false hope of improving service. Certainly, yet another rate hike will come along with it. Expecting the worst, I pull up the Proposed System Map. the 9AX and the 10 are toast. In their place is the 19, which doesn’t go South of Market to the train station. My only choice both ways will be aforementioned F and T which will surely be even more crowded, further highlighting the antique nature of those rustic, rusted, pitiful excuses for mass transit.

What are my options? At this point I’m seriously thinking it’s time to give up on San Francisco altogether. Why do I torture myself so? I have no idea. Maybe Obama has some answers for substantial “change.” Because right now, I’m not hopeful in the least.

Lesson learned: Capitalism is evil.

I have a depressing childhood memory of playing Monopoly with a friend and running out of money. I wanted to quit but my buddy kept lending me cash — a little bit at a time — which I would instantly lose in the next few moves. He basically had ownership of the entire board. The result is a complete phobia of debt which persists to this day.

Wikipedia: Monopoly

Life

Lesson learned: Conform or die.

No relation to the cereal or the cellular automation, this board game presents a journey along the path of life which means getting married and having kids. I once drove my younger brother to tears because at the age of six, getting in a car with a girl and bearing children is the grossest thing imaginable. But those are the rules of this socialization masquerading as a kid’s game — you have get married to win. I believe this game must be updated to include gay marriage, single parents, and a Prius.

Wikipedia: Life

Dungeons and Dragons

Lesson learned: If your leader sucks, you’re screwed.

For a time around junior high, various role-playing games were in vogue, but there was one common denominator: if your GM had no idea what they were doing, the entire game came to a standstill. One GM was so unorganized he announced he was quitting mid-game — and opened a portal to Gamma World.

Wikipedia: Dungeons and Dragons

Top Secret

Lesson learned: Luck trumps skill.

My wayward journey into role-playing games hit a low point when firing a gun at point-blank range into an opponent. The odds of a miss were one out of a hundred. Two rolls of a ten-sided die resulted in a miss. I argued with the GM regarding the impossibility of missing when firing a gun at point blank range. I live forever with the crushing thought that even with overwhelming odds in your favor, you can still get screwed.

Wikipedia: Top Secret

Supremacy

Lesson learned: World politics is confusing and boring.

This game was highly rated in Games magazine, so my parents bought it for my brothers and I. Unfortunately, we never got a handle on the complex rules involving nations, trade, resources, and weapons — like a hopped-up version of Risk for readers of the Economist. But all we wanted to do was hurl nukes at each other and use the laser satellites. The end result was pieces lost, a board game relegated to the linen closet, and a general disinterest in voting throughout my twenties.

Wikipedia: Supremacy

D-Day

Lesson learned: War is hell.

The Avalon Hill games were exacting recreations of World War II, down to every deployed unit represented by a rectangular chit with numbers on it. Unfortunately, the set up alone was a freaking nightmare, taking days to put every piece in the right historically accurate position before you could begin playing. If a handful of pieces were lost, the entire game was pointless. However, by its sheer complexity, the invasion of Normandy was accurate in one important regard: war is hell and I never wanted to experience it again.

Wikipedia: D-Day

Operation

Lesson learned: Irrational fear of doctors.

The game so scary it was returned to box and the closet, never to be opened again. You had to pull white objects out of a scared naked man using a pair of tweezers. If your tweezers touched the edges of the hole, a buzzer sounded and the guy’s nose would light up. There are so many things wrong with this game from the perspective of a child — the naked guy, the nose, the buzzer, the tooth-white objects, and the idea of operation itself. Whoever thought this game up — may he come down with terminal Water on the Knee.

Wikipedia: Operation

Battleship

Lesson learned: If you can lie and get away with it, you still win.

Your opponent calls out a coordinate, and you call out “miss!” while sneakily repositioning the ship to a new location. I’m surely not the only one that did this. The guilt plagues me to this day.

Wikipedia: Battleship

Eventually we made it to Milwaukee and our connecting flight to Green Bay was delayed. So instead of the parents picking us up at midnight on icy roads, we decided to just stay over in a hotel on Packerland Drive (great name). At least they have free WiFi and breakfast. That lukewarm Pizzeria UNO thing I ate in Milwaukee needs a chaser.

Anyhow, I’m actually looking forward to some “white Christmas” action in the copious amounts of snow, of which there is zippo back home in California. Nothing like stomping around in the snow for a bit and then warming up next to a warm fire. And when the novelty of the cold (it’s 18 degrees) begins to wear off, we’ll be on a plane back to the Bay Area. That is, unless we get sidetracked to Iowa in some John Candy movie.

1. Mr. Sloshed at 8 AM: I used to occasionally ride to work with the spouse and catch the 15 across town. One morning it was standing room only, and one of the riders was a drunk, bearded biker guy who was talking on the cell phone to a buddy of his. His tale of getting drunk the night before was loudly ranted to all in close proximity. He told his friend that he hooked up with a “G… I… R… L…” (spelling out the word for some reason) but that “G… I… R… L…” had a bottle of “G… I… N…” and he woke up somewhere in Hunter’s Point. He then went into a story about how he got stuck in Mexico and owed someone money who flew him down there, but he couldn’t pay them back until he paid his mom back for something else. The story ended when he realized he was going in the wrong direction on the 15 the whole time as we passed the ball park. He frantically got off at Market Street.
2. Let You Off? You Drive!: Another bus ride home during a rain storm resulted in a traffic jam in the Financial District. A skinny, freaky dude (looked a bit like a rat) got sick of the stop and go traffic and asked the bus driver to let him off the bus. The Chinese bus driver refused to do so, saying he could only open the doors at a designated bus stop. Freaky dude walked up to the driver, complaining and raising his voice. Driver again said no, pointing out how the bus was trapped in the middle of the intersection and he couldn’t just let people off there. Freaky dude kept badgering the driver, to the point where the driver lost it, stood up, and started screaming in broken English, “You want open door? You drive bus! You sit down and drive bus then!” Passengers began yelling at both the driver and the man (including myself) telling both of them to sit the hell down and shut up. Sheepishly, the freaky dude gave in and took his seat, shaking his head the whole time at how unreasonable the entire world had suddenly become.
3. I Kick You: Sometimes when I want to block out the world I take the seat in the back of the bus, in the far corner by the window. Unfortunately, the back contains is a full row of seats and you can become trapped. I was once blocked in by a scary guy who used the back center seat (facing up the entire aisle) as a means to live out his violent fantasy of kicking everyone who got up to exit the bus. Each time a person arose, he’d let loose with one or two legs, pretend-kicking while muttering guttural expletives along the lines of “crfntn stpd btch!!!!!” Several people edged away and took seats further up, and I wanted to join them, but I was stuck in that corner seat. I stared out the window for quite some time until thankfully he left, not having noticed me at all.
4. You’re Not Fooling Anyone: Girl with large sunglasses and iPod sneaks onto the bus through the back door. Driver starts yelling at her to show her pass. She can’t hear, or pretends not to hear. The bus driver yells about how the bus ain’t movin’ until she shows her pass. No response. Driver gets up, walks down the aisle, and talks about how you’re not fooling anyone. Girl, publicly shamed, gets up and walks off the bus.
5. You Made Me Run: Sad story of an overweight woman who boarded the bus, panting and wheezing, and accused the driver of passing her up at the previous stop. Long story ensued about how she was asthmatic and disabled, and “you made me run.” While we all had sympathy for her, the wheezing and moaning went on a little too long (say five minutes), and I couldn’t help think she was being overly dramatic near the end in order to really put the point home that the driver was an immoral human being.
6. School Daze: I’ll never take the bus that goes down Van Ness just as school lets out. The last time I did so, about fifty rowdy children boarded, and their idea of after-school entertainment is to shove each other off the bus at each stop and see if the shove-ee can get back on before the driver closes the doors. This violent activity was peppered with laughter, cuss words, and slaps. It’s also customary to punch the side of the bus a few times to let it know who’s boss. Other dumb kid behavior I’ve witnessed: throwing pennies at pedestrians from the bus windows, kids refusing to give up their seat to old folks, and long conversations about who kissed who and who is a homo.
7. Don’t You Ever Talk To A Conductor That Way: Conductor asks to see a passenger’s ticket. CalTrain rider says he doesn’t like the conductor’s attitude. Conductor says “Don’t You Ever Talk To A Conductor That Way.” CalTrain rider goes into a rant about how he rides the train every day and is a customer, and he’s getting bad customer service. Conductor threatens to toss the passenger off the train. Conflict ends in a red-faced stalemate. After the conductor leaves the car, rider asks around for people’s phone numbers so he can have a list of witnesses when he lodges a complaint.

Still, none of what I’ve seen in San Francisco over the past few years tops the horrors of New York City. When I lived there for a year, subway panhandling was common, and someone claimed she stabbed a mugger with a compass. I once saw a woman and man in a swearing, screaming match and frustrated, the man marched off in disgust. The woman began yelling at him, threatening to pull down her pants and take a dump right there in the station.

The punch line is she did it. And in typical New York Fashion… nobody gave a crap.

Despite the common assumption that riding a bus is a simple affair, I notice on a daily basis many clueless riders (usually tourists, executives, suburbanites) that seem pathetically confused by the concept of riding in a vehicle with complete strangers.

• Do: Wait at the stop well ahead of when the bus is supposed to get there.
• Don’t: Expect it to arrive on time.
• Do: Have your change or pass ready so you can board the bus in a timely manner.
• Don’t: Stand there and ask directions to some non-existent location while fumbling with change, which is inexact, or talk on the cell phone while boarding. You’re holding up the people behind you and making everyone late.
• Don’t: board through the rear doors and pretend you’re cluless when the MUNI driver throws a fit and demands to see your pass. An old transfer doesn’t work. You’re not fooling anyone — just get off the bus and realize you’re making fifty paying riders late with your shenannigans.
• Do: Be prepared to sit next to another person in close quarters, or stand with your nose in a stranger’s armpit.
• Don’t: Sit in an aisle seat and put your bag in the window seat, and feign ignorance or annoyance when someone calls your rudeness and asks to sit in said seat. Be prepared to have all your pointless material possessions fit on your lap so you occupy one seat. This includes large suitcases, musical instruments, extreme backpacks, bags of Chinatown vegetables, or weepy children in strollers. Otherwise, just hail a cab and save everyone the pain.
• Do: Figure out which stop you need to get off at before boarding.
• Don’t: Insist on standing near the doorway because you’re afraid of missing your stop that is miles away.
• Absolutely Don’t: Whine and moan while gazing forlornly out the window, as if you’re a victimized prisoner off to Siberia, ringing the bell every minute but then muttering “Oh, this isn’t my stop yet.” That’s a great way to piss off the driver including everyone trapped on the bus with Mr. Solzhenitsyn.
• Do: Move to the back of the bus and take a seat, even if it’s next to smelly patchouli lady with her extreme backpack and baby stroller.
• Absolutely Don’t: Feign ignorance and refuse to move to the back rear when there are thirty people crammed in the front, one of whom is wrapped around the bus driver. If your nose isn’t within odor-inhalation of your neighbor’s armpit, there is still room.
• Don’t: Insist on loitering in the front of the bus, with your Chinese-vegetable filled baby stroller because you’re afraid of missing your non-existent stop. You’re keeping others who know where they’re going from boarding the bus and sitting down.
• Do: Learn the art of standing on a moving bus, meaning feet parallel to the length, one hand on a rail, and the other prepared to grab onto something in the event of a quick halt.
• Don’t: Stand in the aisle with hot coffee in one hand and a cell phone in another and expect to remain in an upright position.
• Do: Give up your seat for the eldery, pregnant, and infirm.
• Don’t: Sit there with your shades and iPod on full blast, pretending you’re cluless when the Muni driver wants to flip your seat up to make room for the person in the wheelchair.
• Do: If the bus is prohibitively full and you’re standing in the exit stairwell, it might be a good idea to get off the bus, let the people off at their stop, and then quickly reboard.
• Don’t: Stand in the stairwell as people with extreme backpacks, strollers, and military equipment are forced to squirm their way around you because you’re insistent it’s not your stop or you believe you’re far thinner or better smelling than you really are.
• Absolutely Don’t: Stand in the rear stairwell and wonder why the doors aren’t closing. If you don’t get off the rear stairwell the doors can’t close and the bus doesn’t move.
• Do: If the bus driver closes the rear door before you have a chance to get off, the modus operandi is to yell “back door” and open it for you.
• Don’t: Yell “back door” when the actual problem is you not pushing the door handle when the light is green. If you can’t read the large words “push handle to open door” it’s your own stupidity that has you trapped on the bus with Chinese vegetables, speeding past the next three blocks.
• Absolutely Don’t: Be irate when the bus driver doesn’t open the doors for your stop, when what’s really going on is you rang the bell five times for the past five stops, but they were all the wrong ones, because you didn’t know which stop was yours, and muttered “oh, this isn’t my stop yet” for each. The bus driver is just dealing with the boy who cried wolf, and you deserve to smell armpit.
• Do: Bring an gadget to occupy yourself, for ignoring all this nonsese. Think Blackberry, cellphone, iPod, iPhone. Reading material is also good. Make sure you know how to operate said entertainment with one hand in case you must stand. Two handed devices (notebook computers) are not recommended.
• Don’t: Be so preoccupied with your entertainment that you miss your stop. The saddest sight is a yuppie laden with home-equity financed toys madly clambering over patchouli and Chinse vegetable-laden passengers, extreme backpacks, baby strollers, military equipment, tourists, and guitars in a futile attempt to reach the back door as it slams in their face and the bus continues on its merry way. Especially if said yuppie doesn’t understand the concept of “push handle to open door” or screaming “back door” at a unionized bus driver. Yes, mass transit is socialist, and you’re trapped on a one-way voyage to Siberia. This is how we roll in San Francisco.

My memories of Earl:

• Was on the school newspaper staff, along with myself and several other slackers (you know who you are).
• Carried a hard-shell suitcase.
• Creator of The Unions — a comic strip featuring Rover, a dog with a blue nose, and a long list of characters that I’m sure nobody could keep straight except Earl.
• Loved racing, and later wrote racing articles. I remember he had developed some sort of racing card game using index cards.
• Hated Garfield with a passion to the point of having Garfield stuffed animal barbecues.
• Collected motor oil cans.
• Was fascinated with round, Union 76 globes.

Although I lost touch with Earl over a decade ago, his unique personality made an impression, to each time I drove by a Union 76 globe I wondered if he had seen that particular one. Back at my parent’s house in Hawaii, I have several Unions compilation comic books that I bought from Earl way back when. I’ll have to dig them up next time I fly back and revisit them.

My larger feeling after reading of Earl’s death and others’ memories online is he pretty much decided what he was interested in at an early age, and he went for it without being swayed as to what others would think about his hobbies / obsessions. I’m sad that he didn’t get to live a longer life, but find some comfort in the fact that he was doing what he loved up until the last moments. May we all be that lucky.

No.No.Notorious

as a nation, we’re so rich that we were able to get the technology that makes what was previously expensive (like meats and sweet) cheap. even our poorest are living like kings compared to other countries.

Murph1908:

Thinking about it, I am ready to blame the advent of the 2-income family. When I was growing up, we would go out to eat at a (sit down) restaurant maybe once a month. This was a special occasion. Now, with the increased disposable income, people go out (made up statistic) at least once a week.

Acceptablerisk:

Is this a consumer blog or are we just going to bitch about fat everyone is getting and how companies are companies are releasing products people evidently want? It’s not McDonald’s job to keep your from fat ass from buying their shit.

Others deny the waistline expansion is even happening, claiming that the BMI measurement for obesity is inaccurate and unfairly labels a 5’2″ body builder as obese. True, but seriously — how many 5’2″ body builders do you see when you walk down the street vs. overweight people? And why do rates for Type 2 diabetes continue to rise if we’re all fit?

This is also compounded by coming back from a trip to Japan where I think I saw only a handful of overweight people, and they were all on television in the sumo matches. Meanwhile, entire subway stations were full of people with low BMIs and weren’t 5’2″ body builders.

Anyhow, enough ranting (I have about 10 pounds to lose myself). Here are some of my amateur theories why America is the land of the large:

• Suburbia. Suburban sprawl encourages people to drive everywhere, which is pretty much the only way to get around when you live in a house among other houses and the nearest retail place and mass transit stop is in a strip mall four miles away.
• Eating out more often and more food. Suburbia is filled with these “chain” restaurants (Chilis, Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, Outback Steakhouse) where it seems abuse by food is the norm. Meaning, just a standard meal has portion size that could kill a small mammal. I’m talking about the 1/3 pound hamburger with cheese and fried onions piled on top, and a brownie the size of a small pizza drenched in hot fudge with a pan cookie, cheesecake, and three scoops of ice cream on top as a dessert. 14,293 calories, once a week, your brain thinks this is normal.
• Equating food with reward. This is cultural and psychological. We see food as a reward for good behavior — a customary indulgence. For every big event, food is inevitably involved — be it a birthday, graduation, family reunion, wedding, whatever — the most common response eating. The reward for a stressful day is a dish of ice cream, or if you’re “good” by hitting the gym you deserve a donut.
• Yo-yo dieting. I see many diets coming up with these really restrictive rules that seem to hamper long term success. Not being a food guru myself, it seems moderation is the problem. You can have a piece of cake, just a small one and not every week. It’s when people deny themselves cake for several months and then go bats one day with a cake orgy, gaining back all the weight that was lost.
• The prevalence of high fructose corn syrup and processed food. This mass produced chemical is pretty vile and is in pretty much all processed foods. There’s all kinds of distasteful politics in the government’s farm subsidies that makes corn sugar cheaper than sugar cane. What this means is in addition to eating more, it’s also not good quality, full of strange chemicals. Note the difference between “cheese” and “cheese food” and “meat” and “meat product”. There’s some inspiration to pick up the celery stick and go organic.
• Sedentary lifestyle. While in college I was thin as a rail but gained about twenty pounds with my first cubicle technology job. The reasons are endless — sitting in front of a glowing screen for hours on end, going out for lunch, the ubiquitous bowl of candy on everyone’s desk, free meals and sodas in the kitchen (this was 1999), birthday parties every week, and lastly, more disposable income to spend on food, and someone was always “stopping by Krispy Kreme” on the way to work and bringing in trays of donut action.
• Thinking there’s an easy fix. Another psychological or cultural aspect. I think there’s always the temptation of a shortcut — some magic pill — rather than confronting the hard, obvious truth: we all have to eat less and exercise more, and this is a long term lifestyle change. But it seems many of us don’t want to make this change — because it’s a long term project requiring discipline. We could just wait until someone develops the sugar-zapping nanobot or the pill that erases the weight-gain gene.
• We have a skewed idea of what is normal. I can always use the excuse, “well, I’m not as heavy as so-and-so” as a reason to eat another donut. This recent New York Times article also suggests that if a friend becomes large, you may become large, too. So as the whole nation gets heavier, it may be creating a snowball effect.

I have to lose some weight, too. I have been stuck around 170 all of this year. Right now I’m at 168 only because I was sick. I’d like to get down to 164 which won’t kill me. I really need to put my money where my mouth is — and not eat it.

So what are your theories on why America has a weight problem? Or am I totally off base with some of my thoughts above?

I had my first In-N-Out burger shortly after moving to California in Valencia. I’ve eaten at several in the Bay Area, namely Mountain View, Millbrae, and Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco near where I work. The latter means that I eat there at least twice a month.

The quality of the food is great as the burgers are cooked to order, not frozen. This seems to be a big reason why the chain hasn’t expanded from California.

The menu is a testament to simplicity. There are only a handful of items: milkshakes, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, soda, and french fries. If you think about it, that’s pretty much the basics of the fast food experience. The simple menu also makes things really straight forward when it comes to ordering — you don’t find yourself waiting behind some person who can’t make up their mind. It’s a return to the “fast” in “fast food” — well, unless you have the bad luck of waiting in a really long line.

If simple isn’t what you’re after, you can get crazy with a whole list of legendary customizations. Perhaps these choices are kept off the menu to keep the ordering process smooth.

For example, the term “4x4” is a burger with four patties and four slices of cheese. Some simple number substitution can lead to a glutton-buster of your worst fantasies. Here’s a picture of a 100x100.

I sometimes get the “animal style” french fries which are topped with melted cheese, grilled onions, and the “sauce” (essentially a weak thousand island dressing). I once had a cheese burger animal style but felt like a bloated whale afterwards.

Oh, and I guess if you need another endorsement, Thomas Keller likes their burgers, too.

While in the dentist’s office over the weekend (yes, our dentist works on Sundays — it’s awesome) I read this really timely and depressing BusinessWeek article wondering about “predatory lending” regarding businesses that sprung up to make a pile of money off of those who don’t have much.

I can’t really do the article justice by describing it here, but I had a sad realization while reading it:

• Person A has excellent credit, earns a high salary, has money in the bank to pay any bills that come their way. Because of this, this person is given the best lending terms. So when they buy the HD television set, they pay the price off in full or borrow at a low interest rate and pay it off shortly afterwards, probably before they accrue any interest.
• Person B has crappy credit, a low salary, no savings, and can’t pay cash, nor do they have a credit card (or perhaps all the credit cards are maxed out). So when they buy the HD television set, they are given a high interest rate, and an even higher one should they fall behind on payments.

Therefore, person A will likely pay much less for the exact same product than person B, who with interest added, might pay for the HD TV twice over.

Now just think about this for a second: Rich person A essentially pays less for the exact same product than poor person B.

That’s screwed up. In a fair world, you might think the person with less money would get cut a break and therefore the cheaper price (this might be called charity). But because of the above reasoning and its relationship to credit, our society considers it normal to reward the rich and punish the poor. And in the most twisted of logic, a conservative would argue that it’s for the poor person’s own good that they pay more, otherwise what would be the incentive to earn more money? Now, that’s just cruel.

Am I missing something, here?

This is all due to the addition of a new light rail line, the Third Street “T” which is a noble cause, but the execution is completely fubared.

I knew the Third Street line was going active this past Monday, but I had no idea that in addition, a number of MUNI buses — including several that I use to get and from work (on the edge of North Beach near Fisherman’s Wharf) from the CalTrain station — would be included. Now, my entire commute is screwed up.

I normally catch a specific express bus (82X) from the CalTrain station to work. This bus has been replaced with a smaller bus (less seats). To top it off, this morning it was MIA — it never showed up.

As a backup, I’ll catch either the 10 or the 15. Guess what, the 15 has been completely eliminated and the 10 has an altered route. Meaning, it dropped me off two blocks away from the previous stop near my building.

The commute home has been even more problematic. The 15 has been replaced with a 9AX that doesn’t go near the CalTrain station anymore. On Monday I got off before it went on the freeway and walked four blocks to the train station. That option is out.

On Tuesday, I got off the 9AX on Market street and went down to catch the T for a change. The T stops right outside the CalTrain station. What a mistake. I waited there for much too long, and the MUNI light rail I eventually boarded was stuffed to the gills and on every stop, more people crammed on there.

Today, after work I’m going to try to catch the 10 and I’m not hopeful. Other options don’t look so good. The whole idea is to not have to transfer from one line to another. I’m loathe to start catching the F and then T, which includes a walk from the ferry building and standing room only.

The end of my rant is this: I’m a huge supporter of mass transit. I’ve caught the CalTrain pretty much every work day ever since I moved to the Bay Area in 1999 (CalTrain = good and reliable). Meanwhile, MUNI service has gone from borderline to worse to nearly intolerable with every passing month, not to mention fare hikes seemingly every six months plus declining number of buses.

I’m reminded of the fiasco that was extending the BART out to the airport but along a curvy route that presently takes longer, costs more, and is less convenient than the CalTrain.

With gas prices so high and global warming urging folks to use more mass transit, I’m miffed to say the infrastructure in this city is woefully subpar as an alternative to driving.

What irks me even more is just coming back from Japan, where it was a mind-blowing experience to have trains on time to the minute, spotlessly clean train stations, polite employees, and a network of intercontinental trains that make America look like we’re living in Eastern Europe. This country is falling apart in more ways than one.

I can’t even comprehend how the Golden Gate Bridge was built during the Great Depression and here in 2007, the government spends hundreds of millions of dollars — just so buses have the priviledge of not showing up.

Additiona Reading: SFGate Reader Comments on MUNI, SFist, MUNI Complaint Form, The N-Judah Chronicles

Michael Jackson wants to build a 50′ tall robot with frickin’ lasers: Ah, is there a cyborg monkey, too?

Valleywag notes A View To Kill: James Bond movie?

British Bands are recording covers of Sgt. Pepper: Uh, remember Gus Vant Sant and Psycho?

$1 million worth of whale puke: Ambergris is a valuable ingredient in perfume. An Australian couple found a pile on a beach.

Cliche Website: I like the comics one.

On a Mac, use ffmpegx to convert Real Video to anything you like. Obscure tip but it works.

How to Play DIVX on your Apple TV: Long list of steps. A bit scary. But very geeky-cool.

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You may prefer the Flickr version of these same photographs.

1. Tokyo at night
2. Tsukiji Fish Market
3. Tsukiji Fish Market
4. View of Tokyo
5. Cats in a shrine in Ueno Park Tokyo
6. Two cats in the Tokyo National Museum
7. Toy vending machines in Hakone
8. Ryokan in Hakone
9. Hakone
10. Awesome dinner in a ryokan
11. Cakes in Kyoto train station
12. Cherry blossoms
13. Kyoto temple
14. Kyoto temple
15. Cat souvenir store
16. Kyoto Temple
17. Kyoto Temple
18. Zen garden in Kyoto
19. Dad at a temple
20. Charm on a fence
21. Tofu restaurant
22. Kyoto temple
23. Small rabbits outside a store in Kyoto
24. Me in front of giant bags of Japanese junk food
25. First Kitchen Japanese fast food

Money

Check out this link: JNTO Website.

• The Japanese money system is based on the Yen. The coins are, 1 yen, 5 yen, 10 yen, 50 yen, 100 yen, 500 yen.
• The most common bills are 1,000 yen, 5,000 yen, and 10,000 yen.
• The approximate conversion is 100 yen = 1 American dollar. When looking at prices in yen, the easiest ball park figure is to move the decimal point over two places. Coffee for 450 yen is about $4.50. Likewise, a dinner that is 1,200 yen, that’s about $12.
• In stores, commonly you’ll see a tray on the counter near the cashier. You’re supposed to put your money on this tray. The cashier will hand you the receipt and change.
• There doesn’t seem to be any sales tax, so the prices listed are what you pay — very convenient, and helpful for the clueless tourist fumbling with the new money system.
• Likewise, no tip is required in restaurants, taxis or even hotels. No wasted time figure out a 15% gratuity of anything.
• Pretty much every store we visited could make change from the 10,000 yen bill.
• Some stores and restaurants did take American credit cards like Visa and Mastercard, including the train stations. However, many smaller stores and restaurants were cash-only.

Mass Transit

Subways

Photo by aranandjennie.

• Subways are very convenient, clean, and on time.
• The closest analogy I have is the BART where you buy a ticket at a machine based on a big map showing the price of each destination station based on where you’re currently at. It seemed an average price was about 120 one way.
• After buying a ticket, you stick it in a slot on a gate in order to gain entry. Once you pass through the gate, pull out the ticket on the other site as you’ll need it to get out of the subway station at your destination. If the fare is used up on your card, you don’t pull it out on the other end.
• The subway stations are filled with cool shops, vending machines, kiosks, and restaurants. It seems it’s totally fine to ride the subway with a drink in hand.
• People do queue up in line to get on the train. There are usually markers on the ground indicating where the train will stop and therefore where the line should be.
• The Tokyo and Kyoto subways were pretty insanely crowded. Go with the flow or get crushed.
• The Shinkansen is a longer, faster train ride between cities, with seats similar to airplanes. Snacks and bento lunch boxes are available. You can pay more to reserve a seat.
• Lastly another oddity is that there are different, competing subway lines run by different companies. Sometimes you have to wander through a station to hook up with a train run by another company.

Buses

Photo by stephencannon.

• You board a bus from the back door and get out on the front. You can pay first but it’s more common to pay as you leave.
• Instead of pulling a rope to indicate you want off, there are buttons over every seat, including in the middle of the bus for the passengers that are standing. There is also a huge electronic sign in front near the driver that shows what the next stop is and what the fare will be based on where you boarded.
• In Kyoto we bought a two day pass that covered all bus rides and subway within the city limits (excluding the JR line). Awesome deal.

Taxis

• No tipping!
• Cars drive on the opposite side of the street from America. The driver sits on the right.
• Many cabs we saw had forward rear view mirrors on the hoods.
• Cab doors open automatically.

Shopping

Photo by Webomatica.

• The shopping is insanely great. It seems it’s a cultural thing to treat the customer like a deity.
• As soon as you walk in a store the retail clerks (commonly cute girls) will smile and greet you with “irasshaimase.” Clerks watch you like a hawk and any motion to buy means they leap into action, answering questions.
• Even in the crappiest fast food restaurants customer service is important.
• Helpful for the tourist is the clerks won’t rip you off (bad customer service). Several times we offered up way too much and the cashier always returned the excess money and explained why.
• Packaging is rather out of control. They’ll always give a plastic / paper bag, plus wrap whatever you buy in some piece of paper, and even stick a piece of tape on it to close it. Even junk food bought in convenience stores like crackers or cookies were commonly double-packed in foil within a container, plus with a sack of desiccant to top it off. Note: There is definitely a cleanliness / food quality obsession in Japan, but I also feel it’s a strange contradiction: despite how environmentally aware much of Japan is, this packaging thing is strangely wasteful to me as a tourist, especially being from San Francisco where a law just passed banning plastic bags from stores.
• We found prices surprisingly reasonable, especially when considering the lack of sales tax and tipping. If you come from a large metropolitan area you likely won’t flinch.

Food

Photo by Webomatica.

The Awesome

• If you enjoy Japanese food, you’re in for a treat. The quality is a step above anything in America and in some cases, perfection. I’ve never had sushi this fresh, with large hunks of buttery, fishy flesh everywhere even in subway stands for less than 10 bucks.
• Also incredible are bakeries that seem to be French inspired, with pastry, cakes, and croissants exquisitely prepared.
• Going along with the aforementioned customer service perfection is food preparation and cleanliness as an art. I’m sure we’ve all had experiences with bugs or hairs in American food — well, none of that in Japan.
• One strange dining realm (that could form the basis of a whole research project) are Japanese versions of American fast food. There’s Mos Burger, and First Kitchen where I got a shrimp pizza and my wife had a tonkatsu (breaded, fried pork) burger, with fries and a “CC Lemon” soda. The “meal deal” was called a “set.” Condiments were ketchup with horseradish and strange mayonnaise pastes. The pork cutlet had a lettuce leaf embedded in the center. McDonald’s has variations such as fried eggs on burgers and a shrimp burger. I ate a BLT burger with a light pepper dressing.
• Also handy are the crazy vending machines. Available are hot and cold beverages: tea, coffee, water, juice, vitamin drinks, and strange combinations of all of the above. I had a yogurt drink with bits of gelatin (tapioca?) floating in it, and my wife had “Pocari Sweat”.

The Not So Awesome

• There’s a definite lack of ethnic diversity beyond European and American restaurants. I didn’t see a single Mexican taqueria, only one Thai restaurant, and nary an Indian curry place. I suppose coming from California rather skews my perception in terms of dining variety.
• The other thing I found strangely absent was a total lack of good, solid whole wheat bread. I started craving a hunk of organic, non processed, sprouted wheat as in my bread of choice: Alvarado Street. You’ll commonly see sandwiches made from crustless white bread that’s as pale as daikon.

Electronics

Photo by rytc.

• Since most readers of this blog are computer types, you may be pleased to know that although the voltage is lower in Japan I was able to power and charge my laptop by borrowing a three-prong to two-prong adapter.
• Both hotels we stayed at had Internet in the room, although the first in Tokyo charged about $12 a day to use it. The only alternative was to use an Internet club in the hotel which had higher charges.
• The biggest disadvantage to using the hotel’s computers or ones in a club is the Japanese keyboard layout is different. Several symbols are in a different places and there are hiragana / katakana characters all over it.
• Many locals were totally zoned out texting on Pantone colored cellphones.
• Here’s a short list of cool technology moments:
  • Escalators that turn on as you approach.
  • Subnotebooks. Drool.
  • Train seats that automatically rotate to face the other way.
  • Plane seats on a flight from Kyoto to Japan that were huge and had adjustments to every position and angle.
  • Massage chairs: 10 minutes for 2 bucks.
  • Hotel check-out computers.
  • Sliding doors everywhere.
  • Bathrooms: toilets with bidets, warmed seats, and flush noises if you’re gaseous. Odor dispensers, automatic soap and water activators, and hand dryers.
  • I think all the bugs are blasted by secret, silent microwaves.

Language

• Most of the locals we interacted with were customer service professionals trained to be super polite, so using my out of practice Japanese skills didn’t prove to be a problem. My mangling of the Japanese language was met with blank, polite stares, and mangling of English.
• I’d recommend getting a phrase book and reviewing the most basic tourist phrases: “how much is this?” “what is this?” “where’s the toilet?” “please”, “thank you” and basic directions like left, right, and counting.
• Reading signs proved to be difficult, but if you care, hiragana and katakana (reserved for foreign words) are the basic syllabic writing, and kanji is the pictographic writing from China. Sadly, anything very important is in kanji. I quickly realized I had forgotten 99% of the kanji I learned in school and was left sounding out katakana (of which there are surprisingly many) on signs and menus. Luckilly it seems one never forgets hiragana.
• Pronunciation is straightforward — syllables are always pronounced the same way.
• Thankfully, all major streets, tourist destinations, and subway stations have English (Romaji) plus all the free tourist maps offered up by the hotels were Westernized.
• Lastly, most stores display prices with roman numerals, so the most important task of shopping proved easier.

Crash Course Diagram Of Hiragana and Katakana

Red = the English equivalent
Black = Hiragana
Blue = Katakana

Wikipedia: Hiragana, Katakana

The Most Basic Kanji You Need (unless you want to learn 10,000 more)

Numbers from 1 — 10:

一, 二, 三, 四, 五, 七, 六, 八, 九, 十

Day: æ—¥ (nichi)

Month: 月 (gatsu)

Yen: 円

Name: 名前 (namae)

And it might be good to learn some locations:

Japan: 日本 (Nihon)

Tokyo: 東京

Wikipedia: Kanji

For more, check out About.com, or play around with this Japanese to English and English to Japanese dictionary to learn some common words: Japanese to English Dictionary

That’s about it. Japan is an awesome place to visit. If you have any further questions or tips of your own, feel free to comment!

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