As a fan of Woody Allen’s older films who was really impressed by Match Point, I’m sad to say I really hated Scoop — despite featuring Scarlett Johansen and England, as did Match Point. Therefore, more blame is reserved for Allen.

Melinda and Melinda was two films in one: a comedy and a thriller, each starring the same actress (Radha Mitchell) where much of the fun was the cutting back and forth between the two. Match Point and Scoop could be seen as separate explorations of these two halves, both starring Scarlett Johansen.

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I’ve watched some fairly mediocre movies lately, but believe I’ve reached a low point from which to rise — because I can’t imagine many films worse than Quintet.

The premise is decent sci-fi: during a future earth ice age, seal-hunter Essex (Paul Newman) and his pregnant companion Vivia (Brigitte Fossey) find a post-apocalyptic underground city, trapped beneath snow. Within, a tribe of surviving humans have created a warped dystopia.

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Failure to Launch starring Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker is a pretty calculated movie, one where the math is pretty wrong. It’s basically a by the numbers romantic comedy (boy meets girl, they break up, they get back together) combined with the mean spirit of Meet the Parents and the social awkwardness of 40 Year Old Virgin.

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The Stepford Wives is a real time waster, even as a rental, mostly from a lack of guts. The entire premise is out-dated, that of nerdy men wanting beautiful, subservient wives. The whole stereotype of “perfect wife” these guys come up with comes straight out of the 1950s. It makes the town of Stepford look more like a white, conservative Republican hell… I certainly wouldn’t want to live there.

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