Seems like most of the films entered in the contest have been horror movies. Still, Ghost Rider is the best out of the So Bad It’s Good movies I’ve seen, but not because it’s awful. It’s actually okay - although I’m glad I didn’t pay good money to see it in the theater. Even as a rental it’s a waste of time.

Based on a Marvel comic book, Johnny Blaze (Nicholas Cage), a stunt motorcyclist, sells his soul to the Mephistopheles in order to cure his father of cancer. Mephistopheles transforms Blaze into the Ghost Rider and commands him to fight the devil’s son, Blackheart who wants to create a hell on Earth. Along the way, Blaze’s lifetime love Roxanne (Eva Mendez) discovers and must come to terms with the fact that she’s in love with a burning skeleton that rides a motorcycle and fights off denizens of the underworld.

 Read the rest of this entry (627 words await you)

Recently on Market Street I saw a mother shoving her screaming child into a stroller, hysterically shrieking all sorts of dramatics about teaching children to behave. Perhaps this was justified, but to an outside observer it just looked like a big person beating the crap out of a smaller, weak, helpless one. The added layer of public humiliation just made me feel terrible.

Well, if mom keeps it up, the child eventually grows up and makes a film like Mommie Dearest., and I felt terrible watching it. It’s based on a tell-all memoir written by Joan Crawford’s adopted daughter, Christina. Joan Crawford, the famous actress, is played by Faye Dunaway (whom I really loved in Bonnie and Clyde and Chinatown), but here, she plays a noxious hag.

 Read the rest of this entry (969 words await you)

I’ve seen Plan 9 From Outer Space, directed by Ed Wood, three times now. It never gets any better. It is beyond suck, and truly crosses over the line into “must see” territory. Pretty much everything about it is horribly stupor inducing, and often laughable.

 Read the rest of this entry (1227 words await you)

Argh. After watching this flick I feel I’ve been blinded - my eyes picked out by ravens.

I’m not a horror fan, mostly because scary movie stuff has a bad habit of becoming funny if it isn’t executed well. Unconvincing costumes, fake blood, and terrible acting can all sink the threat of impending doom. Tombs of the Blind Dead is yet another entry in the Webomatica bad movie contest, and it’s pretty much both, and the film’s title could have also included “tone deaf” and “dumb.”

 Read the rest of this entry (969 words await you)

Uh… okay… this movie made me angry. I actually gave up on it halfway, and only endured the rest for the sake of the contest.

First, I don’t know much about Tom Green except he pioneered an MTV style of “shock” humor, appealing to teenage boys the age of twelve. I am not twelve, but I can imagine the state of mind: everything representing adult life “sucks” and the coolest thing ever is one of your friends destroying a classroom while riding a skateboard, swearing profusely, hitting adults with a long phallic object (a stick, a sausage… anything long and hard) and chanting “bum bum” and “ding dong.”

 Read the rest of this entry (1011 words await you)