On Apple + Beats

May 9, 2014

Sounds like Apple acquiring Beats is a done deal, based on developing traditional media buzz. But file me under “don’t get it.”

That said, I’m old, and use music accordingly. I still download full albums from iTunes while it sounds like the trend is streaming. The Beats headphones look ridiculously large and garish – something for teenagers, I guess.

We can guess at why Apple wants Beats. They’re starting their own music label? The Beats streaming music service?

But based on my own cluelessness, maybe it’s to retain youth appeal. Same reason for the garish iOS 7 and iPhone 5C colors. And may be key to Apple’s future hardware plans – specifically “wearable computing.”

Meaning, all this rumors about a “health app” and some sort of wrist-band, fitness tracker sounds like something I’d buy. But people who care about their health to where they want to track it is clearly an older demographic. It’s not the future.

And looking back, Apple leveraged their music world ubiquity to introduce new hardware – the iPhone got a huge boost simply because it doubled as an iPod.

So I’ll try to see a bright side. Obviously Beats is convincing someone out there to purchase huge, ugly earphones that are bigger than the music player, and run counter to the miniaturized, minimalist aesthetic we’ve loved for so long. So stick some wearable computing in ginormous headphones that people are buying anyway, and there’s a hit product.

But let me cry some bitter tears in my decaf coffee while listening to the latest Suzanne Vega album, that the iPhone 6 comes with giant purple headphones that I’d never dare wear in public. But I’m old and my days are numbered.

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