Movie Notes: Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past

June 5, 2010

0 stars

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Michael Douglas
Directed by Mark Waters

Synopsis

Womanizing bachelor asshole Connor (Matthew McConaughey) is on the road to sabotaging his younger brother Paul’s (Breckin Meyer) wedding, so dead Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas) appears along with ghosts of past girlfriends to set him straight. Hilarity ensues.

The Good

• Douglas is mildly amusing as the sleazy uncle, and Garner is decent as Connor’s childhood girlfriend Jenny, unfortunately the only normal character amid a roomful of morons, rather like Bob Hoskins in that live action cartoon with the insane rabbit.

The Bad

• Essentially A Christmas Carol grafted onto a stock romantic comedy. The result is devoid of any dramatic tension whatsoever – Connor will change his ways and get the girl. Some interest could have existed in how slimy Connor was to begin with. Also lamely strays from the Carol basis: ”Ghosts” implies at least three of Connor’s exes should be dead, but the ghost of the present is Connor’s office assistant who is still alive, and the ghost of the future is never explained.
• Not funny. Joke after joke falls flat, due to a general tone of disgusting, stupid, or gross behavior limply presented as humor. Jerky Connor is the best example, but the bride-to-be is such a prima donna whiner I started wondering if Connor was justified in destroying this marriage. Desperation sets in as all kinds of useless characters pile on: horny bridesmaids, in-laws, the bride’s mom, and a Japanese archer, all brought together in one of the worst endings I’ve seen in recent memory.
• McConaughey has certainly made a name for himself playing smart-ass sleaze bags, but ever since The Wedding Planner, I can’t name a decent flick starring him (it wasn’t this, nor this). Vince Vaughn is doing a better job.

Conclusion

If your significant other points the remote in this movie’s general direction, slap their hand and take your lumps before serious brain damage is done. Stay far, far away – this is a wedding cake filled with dog crap.