The iPad Test: How Much Of An Apple Fanboy Are You?

April 2nd, 2010

(Satirical disclaimer: Am getting an iPad tomorrow.)

When / how will you get your iPad?

1. In a few weeks, after I play with one in an Apple Store.
2. I reserved one for pickup.
3. I pre-ordered one for delivery on April 3.
4. I pre-ordered, plus paid for expedited delivery, and was about to complain to Apple until they thankfully decided to refund the $12.

You purchased _x_ iPads because:

1. 1, because surfing the web, watching movies, and playing iPhone apps look cool.
2. 2, because I want one for the living room and another for travel.
3. 2; the WiFi model now for early adopter bragging rights and the 3G model for portability.
4. 20; one of each for collecting purposes, a few to sell on eBay, and one specifically for the bathroom where it’s sure to encounter water damage.

What are some drawbacks of the iPad?

1. No camera, USB ports, or Flash.
2. No camera, USB ports, or Flash, but those are minor things I’m willing to overlook.
3. All software has to be preapproved by Apple, but any developer that can’t handle the Apple way is being short-sighted about the awesome potential of this device.
4. There are no drawbacks, and it’s just a matter of time until people realize it.

The primary reason I bought an iPad is:

1. Web browsing and email.
2. iPhone and iPad specific apps.
3. I was wowed by the Keynote presentation, particularly when Steve Jobs said it was “magical.”
4. I’ve always wanted an LCARS Padd to augment my Captain Picard Borg costume for Star Trek conventions.

How many iPad accessories have you purchased in advance?

1. A few iPad apps.
2. All of the above, plus Pages, Numbers, and Brushes.
3. All of the above, plus an iPad case, the iPad Keyboard, and a screen protector.
4. All of the above, plus a set of screwdrivers and a putty knife since I intend to do a full take apart and post to my blog before noon.

That is the first iPad version, which will surely be upgraded next year, is:

1. Kind of annoying.
2. Not a big deal, since I can see owning two iPads.
3. Not a problem, since I could then have an iPad dedicated to the entertainment room as a ginormous remote control.
4. Awesome, because I could then incorporate several iPads into the replica of the Enterprise bridge I’m building in the garage.

That the iPad has no Flash is:

1. Annoying.
2. Not a problem. I use ClickToFlash to speed up my Mac and don’t miss the lack of banner ads and the occasional video.
3. A message from Apple that HTML5, H.264, and the canvas are the future, and Flash is a dying technology.
4. A clear statement by Apple that Adobe is lazy, they only got Flash by purchasing Macromedia, and deserve to die. They should have had a Cocoa version of CS last year.

The first thing I’ll do with the iPad is:

1. Check out some websites and set up email to see if Apple’s ease-of-use claims are true.
2. Install some iPad-specific apps and see if they take advantage of the larger screen.
3. Load up my entire video collection of Apple Keynotes as a testament to how far technology has progressed.
4. Reserve a hotel room, draw the shades, pour a glass of red wine, and get really intimate with its every detail.

Scoring:

• Mostly 1. See you at the store on Saturday.
• Mostly 2. You’re not too far gone, but your friends and family have voiced concerns. They miss you.
• Mostly 3. Apple should have a rewards card for people like you. Meanwhile, your family considering an intervention.
• Mostly 4. Hi, Steve.