I Hate The Bachelor
After not watching The Bachelor for literally, several years, got sucked into this season featuring Jake, a hunky blonde pilot.
What a mistake.
Things went wrong from the first episode. One contestant named Rozlyn got kicked off for having an “inappropriate relationship” with a show producer. Bad move, because that was some juicy conflict (plus she was pretty hot). From there until the finale, the only other moment worth mentioning was San Francisco Marina-ite Ali, forced to quit in order to keep her job. What company would be worth ditching love? Facebook. Well, with all the free meals and potential IPO, that makes sense. I should have taken a cue from Ali and quit watching.
After endless reams of cheesy greeting-card platitudes and weepy, forced goodbyes, Jake’s final choice came down to opposites: Tenley the dancer who worked for Disney, so bubbly and girly a competitor said she “***s rainbows,” or Vienna, the blonde, slightly cross-eyed, Beverley Hills chihuaua lover that the other women contestants disliked, surely in the “I’m not here to make friends” category. Warning sign: Jake’s family preferred Tenley.
So who did Jake choose? Vienna. The super-skank over the sweetheart. I hate this show; I’m never watching another episode again.