Movie Notes: Bride Wars

April 30th, 2009

= 1 star

Starring Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Candice Bergen
Directed by Gary Winick

Synopsis

Two BFF inadvertently set their weddings on the exact same date, setting off a series of increasingly cruel attempts to ruin the other’s big day.

Note: In lieu of my standard review format, I shall just post a stream of Twitters posted during my viewing. I think they speak for themselves.

• Oh crap. Wife has the remote and is renting Bride Wars from Apple TV. Damn you, Apple
• Bride Wars: Does the wedding / diamond industry sponsor these movies?
• Bride Wars: wife: Kate Hudson’s hair looks like Cher’s — how can I take this seriously?
• Bride Wars: Women only act like this in the movies, otherwise no man anywhere would ever get married
• Bride Wars: XP on a MacBook. Somehow I don’t think Anne Hathaway’s character would be that computer saavy
• Bride Wars: That The Wrestler was pre-empted by a sneak remote control move somehow makes this movie more painful
• Bride Wars: Realizing I have watched a string of crappy movies lately that I am in no mood to review.
• Bride Wars: The doctor of dance. A few seconds of humor.
• Bride Wars: Anne Hathaway is an Oompa Loompa
• Bride Wars: Orange Anne Hathaway doing a sexy dance on a rope surrounded by male strippers. Okay that has a little base appeal.
• Bride Wars: I will say, blue haired Kate Hudson does bitchy / high strung well, but it isn’t funny.
• Bride Wars: Make the two BFF in love with each other and move to Iowa
• Bride Wars: Oh yeah, two brides wrestling halfway down the aisle, where’s the mud
• Bride Wars: If you’re going to make a dark comedy, go for the throat with a knife, don’t just color it orange

Conclusion

Bride Wars is hopelessly confused between dark and romantic comedy. The result is less bitingly funny than Meet The Parents nor as sickly sweet as the disappointing but tolerable Made Of Honor. Shifts in tone are made more extreme by really odd montages of still images narrated by Candice Bergen, seemingly slapped on after the fact.

One star for orange Hathaway’s bizarre dance routine culminating in a rope swing — so bad it’s good. Otherwise, skip it.

IMDB: Bride Wars
Wikipedia: Bride Wars
Rotten Tomatoes: Bride Wars 12%