Battlestar Galactica: The Best And Worst Episodes

March 22nd, 2009

Now that the show is over and we know how the whole thing ends, here’s my totally personal, biased list of the best and worst Battlestar Galactica episodes.

In retrospect, I feel seasons 1 and 2 and the first half of season 3 were the strongest. It seems each season finale mixed things up with a nutty situation which the writers tried to remedy next season. This strategy worked well for seasons 1 and 2 but the mess made at the end of season 3 (Final Five, Bob Dylan, Baltar survives his trial) was a tall order to explain. Still, the second half of season 4 provided a reasonably satisfying conclusion — there’s just no explaining Bob Dylan.

The Best

Note: I tried to whittle this list to ten, but it was impossible. I also cheated by including several the multiple part episodes into one. I hope a list of thirteen is numerically significant enough for forgiveness.

1. The Miniseries: It all starts here, and there’s one good surprise at episode’s end, showing that Cylons are hidden among the fleet.
2. 33: The Galactica must jump constantly to survive, showing the stress of space travel and the terrible odds the fleet is up against. Baltar’s sabotage remains unexposed — in retrospect, evidence of divine intervention.
3. Six Degrees of Separation: The mysterious Shelly Godfrey appears and disappears. Baltar must ask God for forgiveness before Head Six will save him. Now that angels have entered into the Galactica canon, the name “Godfrey” is no coincidence.
4. Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down: Introduction of Ellen Tigh — the fifth of the final Five. Note that Head Six tells Baltar to hide the results of his cylon detection test.
5. Kobol’s Last Gleaming (1), Kobol’s Last Gleaming (2): The fleet arrives at Kobol hoping to find clues to Earth. Politics and distrust are everywhere, and Boomer shoots Adama.
6. Pegasus, Resurrection Ship (1), Resurrection Ship (2): The Pegasus trilogy, showing how a different group of survivors developed a different social structure. Without a civilian fleet as a check and balance, they are a military dictatorship under the rule of the hot lesbian Admiral Cain. Meow.
7. The Captain’s Hand: The Pegasus commander demonstrates incompetence but redeems himself at the last moment in an intense space battle. Shades of Star Trek.
8. Lay Down Your Burdens (1), Lay Down Your Burdens (2): The fleet finds New Caprica, Baltar becomes president, Gina sets off a nuke, and the Cylons take over, enslaving the humans, turning the entire show upside down. As a bonus, we meet fat Lee and mustache Adama.
9. Exodus (1), Exodus (2): Tigh kills Ellen. Fat lee and mustache Adama stage an audacious rescue with a frakking awesome space battle and the sacrifice of the Pegasus. Adama shaves and Baltar has to give up the presidential prostitutes.
10. Crossroads Part (2): Baltar’s trial, the smarmy lawyer Romo Lampkin, “head cat,” and the show turns into Law & Order. We meet four of the final five, say “what the frak” to Bob Dylan, and Starbuck returns. Fans then spend an entire year developing retarded explanations.
11. Revelations: The fleet reaches Earth only to relive Planet of the Apes.
12. Blood On The Scales: Gaeta and Zarek’s audacious rebellion falls apart and non-mustache Adama immediately executes both of them.
13. Daybreak 1, 2, 3: All our favorite characters go on a suicide mission to rescue Hera from the Cylons and end up becoming hermits, farmers, and cavemen. Everything unexplained is chalked up to angels, demons, and God. Still, I bought it.

The Worst

1. Final Cut: Save for the introduction of Number 3, a reminder that Battlestar Galactica is not a reality TV show.
2. Black Market: Lee is in a relationship with some woman we’ve never seen before, and acts like he’s in the “Law” part of Law & Order.
3. Scar: Never liked Kat, that full-of-herself stim junkie.
4. Sacrifice: The character of Billy is built up just before he dies.
5. A Measure Of Salvation: Galactica captures virus laden Cylons, but Helo intervenes and wastes the perfect opportunity to end the entire series right here.
6. Unfinished Business: Boxing. So don’t say we all.
7. The Passage: Kat, a minor character who didn’t deserve another episode, gets an majorly undeserving send off.
8. The Road Less Traveled: The first episode where I realized season 4 was not going to move ahead at faster than light speed.
9. Sine Qua Non: Now that we know Caprica Six ends up with Baltar and Tigh’s child dies — what exactly was the point of Tigh knocking up Caprica Six?
10. Deadlock: The supposedly enlightened Ellen returns, asks for booze, and gets bitchy on Tigh. Meanwhile, Baltar’s followers are given guns they don’t get to use.

So there’s my list. I welcome anyone to nominate their own best / worst episodes, or tell me how wrong I am.