Just a question. Every once in a while I check out the consistent AdSense activity on this here blog, and it’s a consistent head-scratcher. Even on days where I post nothing of note, and garner zero comments, there are still a few clicks here and there.

Personally, I never click on banner ads, and pretty much everyone I know claims they never do, either. Which leads me to wonder, who the heck is clicking on them, and why?

Here are my pet theories:

Company employees are assigned to click on their competitor’s ads to waste their advertising budgets: There’s a secret office filled with cubicle-dwellers who file through a long list of companies’ ads they’re supposed to click on. Their entire day is spent combing through websites and clicking on ads, in an attempt to confuse and waste people’s money. A huge international cabal of black-market click fraudsters with global implications.

Really stupid people: Sub-intelligent morons who are just learning to use the Internet, to whom anything flashy is something to stalk and pounce. Hence, the “punch the monkey” or “You Just Won An iPod” banners. Or, they are confused by the UI and think the typical Google ad text is part of the site. Stupid surfers may explain those “IQ Test” and “R U Stupid?” ads.

Toddlers: Some kid who sneaks onto daddy’s computer and begins banging the keyboard and mouse uncontrollably may randomly click a few ads for Battlestar Galactica ringtones.

Someone out there hates me: This blog has earned the ire of someone who repeatedly clicks on the ads to get me banned for click fraud.

This blog sucks: My articles are so retarded, the Battlestar Galactica ringtone has more appeal.

The clicks are legitimate: Maybe the Battlestar Galactica ring tone is really incredibly awesome, and I’m the clueless one.

Anyhow, I did a bit more research to determine who the ad-clickers might be. This article suggests it’s Grandma Joyce in Waushakegon, Indiana:

Who are these “heavy clickers”? They are predominantly female, indexing at a rate almost double the male population. They are older. They are predominantly Midwesterners, with some concentrations in Mid-Atlantic States and in New England. What kinds of content do they like to view when they are on the Web? Not surprisingly, they look at sweepstakes far more than any other kind of content. Yes, these are the same people that tend to open direct mail and love to talk to telemarketers.

Then there’s another description of the “heavy clicker” – saying 6% of the online population results in 50% of all display clicks. These people sound like poor, unemployed gamblers:

…skew towards Internet users between the ages of 25-44 and households with an income under $40,000. Heavy clickers behave very differently online than the typical Internet user, and while they spend four times more time online than non-clickers, their spending does not proportionately reflect this very heavy Internet usage. Heavy clickers are also relatively more likely to visit auctions, gambling, and career services sites – a markedly different surfing pattern than non-clickers.

So anyhow, thanks Grandma Joyce from Wallawashukean, Michigan and Mr. Unemployed Gambler Man (living in Grandma’s basement, perhaps?) for the extra coinage. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an IQ test to take.

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