Movie Notes: Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
May 30th, 2008

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= 3 stars
Starring Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett
Directed by Steven Spielberg
Synopsis
A much older Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) becomes entwined in a Russian search for mysterious crystal skulls, which take him to South America with his son “Mutt” (Shia LaBeouf), and old flame Marion (Karen Allen).
The Good
- The Russians prove a decent substitute for the Nazis, and Cate Blanchett is completely immersed in her role as Irina Spalko to where I almost swallowed all the hokey ESP stuff her character spouts.
- Harrison Ford is also solidly believable, as a much older and weary Indy.
- Some decent action sequences, namely the Area 51 adventure and the hungry ants. I also really liked Indy parting cobwebs in jungle tombs, recalling Raiders and Temple of Doom.
- Karen Allen fares as well as could be expected, tying up a loose end from Raiders, and Shia LaBeouf was tolerable.
- The plot more or less fits in with the Indy theme of humans struggling to comprehend the unknowable.
The Bad
- Several head slappingly ridiculous moments took me out of the film completely – a flying kitchen appliance, eye contact with a crystal skull, vine-swinging with monkeys, and the totally nutball ending borrowed from the X-Files. Somehow, I think Lucas was involved in of all four, and as a result I never felt completely caught up in the adventure.
- The “object” Indy quests after isn’t as satisfying as the Ark or the Holy Grail, although it’s better than the Sankara Stones from Temple Of Doom.
- I grow weary of excessive CGI for action sequences. Watching the other three Indy flicks beforehand made me more appreciative of the originals – a stunt man working his way beneath a speeding car was infinitely more satisfying than Shia LaBeouf hit in the crotch by virtual jungle plants.
Conclusion
Despite its moments, Crystal Skull is easily the worst of the Indy films: I would have been fine renting it several months from now. It’s even more embarassing when one considers how long this flick was supposedly in development – over twenty years of labor, for this?
It seems Spielberg and Lucas are plumb out of ideas. I pray there are no more installments – I fear Indy handing the bullwhip to “Mutt”, he of the plant-whacked nether-regions. Unfortunately, based on the ridiculously undeserved box office cash pouring in, we may yet see Indiana Jones V: Mutt vs. The Zombie Dolls From Outer Space.
Still, Harrison Ford (and Cate Blanchett) are real troopers and are largely up to the task of fielding all the retarded curve balls tossed their way. Ultimately, I still found Crystal Skull fairly entertaining as a brain-dead, summer action flick, and preferable to the Michael Bay nonsense that was Transformers.
IMDB: Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Wikipedia: Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull
Rotten Tomatoes: Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull 78%