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Get By EmailMovie Notes: Transformers
= 2 stars
Starring Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, John Turturro
Directed by Michael Bay
Amazon Link
Synopsis
Extraterrestrial robots voyage to Earth to recover a powerful alien artifact. They initially masquerade as common human vehicles until all-out war ensues. Teenagers Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox) are inadvertently caught up in the conflict, which involves the military and government.
The Good
- CGI technology realizes some impressive robot transformations.
- Chock full of awesome stuff - for those under fifteen. Endless car chases, stupid adults, hot babes (Megan Fox should be illegal in some states), zillions of explosions, and base humor.
- Shia LaBeouf is surprisingly decent, displaying a comedic streak during times of danger, which will surely be useful for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
The Bad
- The story became increasingly ridiculous to where I had little idea what was going on, yet it didn’t seem to matter.
- Michael Bay’s direction continues to annoy me - the camera is always moving, he cuts way too often, and everyone must scream to be heard over the throbbing surround sound.
- The really cool battle between Autobots and Decepticons doesn’t arrive until the film is nearly through.
- Wince-inducing humor. Mom suspects Sam is masturbating and then confesses she had a little too much to drink. The greatest computer hacker in the world is a virgin. The government agent (John Tuturro) takes off his suit to reveal corny underwear. What fraternity wrote this script?
- Optimus Prime and Megatron should be the main characters, but they’re supports for the teenage stuff.
Conclusion
As a rental it was okay, but I’m glad I didn’t see it in the theater. This is coming from a child of the eighties whose younger brothers collected them - I think there’s a laundry basket full of the things back home. Today, the action over dose of Transformers just gave me a headache.
IMBD: Transformers
Wikipedia: Transformers
Rotten Tomatoes: Transformers 57%
Categories: 2 Star Movies, Movies :: Tags: ::
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"Thanks - i'll mention the one day twitter boycott too. But a big reason why I'm okay with leaving Twitter temporarily is because I have FriendFeed - my cojones are not that big." -
I found the whole glasses in the arctic plot device ridiculously stupid. It just made no sense.
Say what you want about the movie, I’m giving Megan Fox’s nicely toned and well-featured abs 5-stars
Yeah she was hot. Funny how the most impressive visual element was not computer generated.
Such a relief to actually hear someone else say that this movie was nearly completely crap! I’ve ranted about it at work and the slackers there looked at me as though I had justtrash-talked about their favorite aunt - which isn’t as bad as dissin’ somebodies momma, but it’s close enough to potentially get ya whupped. Of course, these are the same dudes who thought “Bad Boys 2″ was, um, good.
Michael Bay is just another Bruckheimer wannabe. His movies are nearly all fluff, no substance. The plots are usually so contrived that you wince in pain as they plod through what few main points there are. The comedic elements are so contrived that you’d have to be a junior high school kid to truly find them humorous.
Yet, this is the same guy who goes to extremely elaborate measures to prove to you just how real the menacing element in his movies is. He spent an incredible amount of time at the front end of “Armaggedon” convincing us of the impending doom, only to piddle away all that effort in the second - and especially the third! - acts of the film.
Ditto with “Pearl Harbor.” Why go to all the effort of the incredibly expensive and eloborate realism only to squander the audience’s trust with a shlocky wham-bam action-packed 2nd half of the movie.
Maybe I was just blinded by my admiration for all things Sean Connery to have seen how bad “The Rock” was, but it didn’t seem quite so bad as Bay’s more recent stuff…
Heh - yeah, I think Transformers was targeted toward a particular demographic, which is likely the ADD majority of the US who like movies as spectacles for testing your surround sound or something.
I had some serious problems with Armageddon, too. There’s an early scene where Ben Affleck is talking with Liv Tyler in a sensitive romantic moment that is filmed from like seventeen angles with camera moves for no conceivable reason. Same thing with Pearl Harbor, which perhaps I took exception offense to since I grew up in Hawaii. Actually now that I think about it, Ben Affleck was in both flicks… maybe his association with Michael Bay is part of why I don’t like him, either
Uh oh, looks like there’s a sequel in the works!
http://www.iesb.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=4663&Itemid=99
I guess it made enough money to warrant that.
By the way, Jason, I’ve been down on Ben Affleck for quite some time too. That smarmy grin and his thin acting ability combined with the fact that he kept getting stuck in action hero-type roles really chapped me. And I sorta figured that on the projects he’d done with Matt Damon he had essentially just ridden his buddy’s coattails, but it seems I was wrong.
Yup, having recently seen “Gone, Baby, Gone,” I’m prepared to eat some crow… The guy does have talent - behind the camera. Apparently, his strength lies in the script development and directing end of things and as long as I don’t have to see that smug face, well, okay. If you haven’t watched “Gone, Baby, Gone” yet, go get it this weekend.
And Ben’s l’l bro, Casey Affleck, he’s the one who got the acting chops in the family!