Day Before MacWorld: Final Predictions, Influcenced By Decongestants

January 14th, 2008

The MacWorld 2008 keynote is tomorrow, and my brain is definitely fuzzy, what with parsing hundreds of Apple rumors over the past few weeks, the reality distortion field in overdrive, and a head cold coming on and the medicine that entails.

After shunting everything through my BS filter one last time, here are my predictions for tomorrow:

• iPhone SDK.
• 10.5.2.
• Subnotebook: Taking design cues from the super-slim keyboards. Ideally has flash as storage but that will undoubtedly bump the price up. I’m thinking the track pad will be multitouch. I think it’s too soon for a multitouch monitor or some transforming ability into a tablet.
• Updated Apple TV: I think Apple is going to get really serious about pushing video in 2008. This will start with an updated, more powerful Apple TV. I’m thinking it will have “slingbox” capabilities of storing video and streaming it to Macs, iPods, and iPhones. This will be the reason for the “something in the air” slogan. There will be no TiVO functionality.
• iTunes Movie Rentals: This is almost a necessity at this point.
• iTunes DRM announcement. Seems like the time is now to go open with everything and keep folks from checking out Amazon.
• Beatles on iTunes. Paul said this was coming soon.

Conversely, I don’t think there will be:

• iPhone 3G: It’s just too soon.
• Apple iTablet, Newton: Apple will want to get this right, and this will take more time.
• MacBook Air: I’m going to go out on a limb with this one, because everyone is thinking the ultra portable will be called the “MacBook Air”. I’m thinking the “air” will have something to do with wireless streaming as in WiMAX and video content.

Now for some really nutty future Apple predictions inspired by decongestants:

• The ultraportable has limited sockets for peripherals. Therefore it can be inserted into a large monitor resembling an iMac. That monitor has a glass front and supports multitouch. The “wow” moment: the monitor itself detaches from the stand so it becomes a tablet computer. Yes… I know sticking a portable computer into a monitor that becomes portable as well is a bit too meta but the reality distortion field is running on over drive, here.
• “Something in the Air” is the start of an Apple master plan of wireless world domination. WiMAX will be introduced in Macs across the board. Next, Apple and Google will bid on the wireless spectrum auction in order to serve up WiMAX on a grand scale. Apple will use their existing Apple stores as a broadcasting base. Next, Apple can set up a branded ISP and cellular phone service, and also broadcast music and video content to Macs, iPhones, and Apple TVs — completely bypassing the existing service providers. Heck, they could even replace the cable companies, too. The final step will be a 24 hour Apple news channel, broadcasting the Steve Jobs reality distortion field.

The last two are my Apple fantasies. Anyhow, rest assured this post will be rendered pointless by tomorrow. On Wednesday I plan to be at MacWorld checking out whatever is announced — unless this head cold and the drugs get the better of me, first.