Zero stars
So Bad It’s Good Rating: -4 stars

Starring Stan Ivar, Klaus Kinski, Diane Salinger
Directed by William Malone

I watched this cosmic travesty via Joost’s “The Really Terrible Film Channel”. Warning signs to waste my time elsewhere began with the very first frame, stating: “In the competition for new materials and advanced manufacturing techniques, two multi-national corporations have invested heavily in space,” read by a super-hokey narrator. We’re soon aboard the Shenandoah, a spacecraft populated by C-list television actors that all look sort of familiar, having guest-starred on ER, Who’s The Boss, or Knight Rider. Sadly, this flick is a step down for all of them.

Creature is a rip off of Alien, with the addition of a silent, dominatrix style security officer and the mysterious astronaut Hans Rudy Hofner (played by the infamous Klaus Kinski) who adds a heck of a lot of camp. The strange, white haired German steals the show with lines like “this creature is sly…!” and mumbling with his mouth full. But even his lively performance can’t raise the aroma of sheer death permeating this flick. He’s also killed before he can pull an Aguirre with this hapless crew.

This is one of those frustrating films where nobody notices anything is odd (although they are) until it’s too late - as if they’re already zombies. One by one, clueless crew members are possessed by an alien creature, and each new possession is used to lure others into the trap. This makes the pointless nude scene or two a little less so.

The final payoff is supposed to be seeing creature itself after it’s spent so much time hiding in the shadows. Unfortunately, it looks much like you’d imagine a low budget sci-fi-horror alien to look like - a guy in a monster suit with a head resembling a giant plastic elephant’s trunk.

There really is no reason to see Creature. Even the gratuitous nudity and explosions weren’t worth trudging through the vast reaches of boring, boring, boring (did I say boring?) galactic space.

Additional Reading: Feomante, X-Entertainment, Beckoning Chasm

IMDB: Creature
Wikipedia: Creature

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Categories: 0 Star Movies, Movies :: Tags: 0 stars, Diane Salinger, Klaus Kinski, Stan Ivar, William Malone :: Trackback URL
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