Note: This is an entry in the Second Webomatica Contest: So Bad They’re Good Movies

0 stars
So Bad It’s Good Rating = -3 stars

Starring Julianna Margulies, Gabrielle Byrne
Directed by Steve Beck

The common denominator with bad horror movies is they’re simply not scary. In Ghost Ship, I found this true for two reasons. First, the characters are insanely stupid; and because they get themselves into dumb situations, it’s like, well, what happy place did you think you’d find on a dark, damp, abandoned ocean liner floating in the icy Pacific? Now you’re going to die; ooh, not scary. Second, the evil creature revealed as the mastermind behind the haunty stuff is quite non-scary. The result of un-spooky threats means that which is meant to be suspenseful ends up pro-boring.

Ghost Ship features tug boat with a crew of six, all on varying degrees of the stupid scale. Least stupid is Captain Murphy (Gabrielle Byrne) so I think you know what happens to him before the movie is half over. They’re asked by a random stranger to go check out the recently discovered, abandoned ocean liner Antonia Garza that has been lost at sea for decades. Upon finding the ship and surveying the damage, they plan to repair and navigate it back to land so they can claim whatever valuables it contains for themselves. But as horror movies go, an expected mishap destroys their tug boat, leaving them stranded on the creepy ocean liner.

One guy has a relatively non-stupid idea: build a raft and get the heck out of there, but no, the crew decides to stay. Creepy stuff starts happening - music coming from nowhere, dead bodies floating a pool, and a little ghost girl. In the film’s first flash back sequence, she complains of being bored. My thoughts exactly.

If you’ve seen any other horror movies you know the rest. One crew member is revealed to be the evil, supernatural being that is actually running this whole spook show. You can figure it out from this review, but it’s so mind-numbingly obvious I’m not spoiling anything. The ghost girl inspires more head thwacking - someone on the crew should have seen enough bad horror movies to think: hey, here’s a creepy ghost kid. Maybe we should ask her what’s going on?

Eventually Ghost Ship drifts toward an unsatisfying ending. By that point, I don’t know why any character would care about the gold bars that pretty much got everyone killed. Please skip this one.

IMDB: Ghost Ship
Rotten Tomatoes: Ghost Ship 12%

Categories: 0 Star Movies, Contest, Movies :: Tags: 0 stars, Gabrielle Byrne, Horror, Julianna Marguilies, Steve Beck :: Trackback URL
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