Note: This is an entry in the Second Webomatica Contest: So Bad They’re Good Movies

0 stars
So Bad It’s Good Rating: -5 stars

Starring Tom Green, Rip Torn, Marisa Coughlan
Directed by Tom Green

Amazon Link

Uh… okay… this movie made me angry. I actually gave up on it halfway, and only endured the rest for the sake of the contest.

First, I don’t know much about Tom Green except he pioneered an MTV style of “shock” humor, appealing to teenage boys the age of twelve. I am not twelve, but I can imagine the state of mind: everything representing adult life “sucks” and the coolest thing ever is one of your friends destroying a classroom while riding a skateboard, swearing profusely, hitting adults with a long phallic object (a stick, a sausage… anything long and hard) and chanting “bum bum” and “ding dong.”

That’s basically the gist of Freddy Got Fingered, except with the addition of an angry father and a handicapped girl who loves oral sex. Gordon (Tom Green) is 28 and still lives in his parents’ basement. His dream is to sell his cartoon, “X-Ray Cat” to Hollywood. This whole plot line is supplemented by gross-out comedy and an increasingly tasteless and sadistic battle between Gordon and his cruel father (Rip Torn).

Unfortunately, Gordon is a despicable character whom I didn’t root for, and therefore the entire film is pointless. To quote a character talking about Gordon’s cartoons: “It sucks.” Later, Gordon uses that word in another sense when he talks about a “sucking to date” ratio, which is about the extent of Green’s wit.

I did find the film funny when Green gets past the gross-out stuff and enters the more surreal and insane - such as “backwards man,” Zebras in America, or playing the piano with sausages and steaks hanging from strings, singing “daddy would you like some sausages.” But this stuff is few and far between.

It’s as if Tom Green wrote the entire screenplay in one draft over the course of an hour, jotting down the first things that came to mind. It’s rather amusing as insight into an uninhibited male psyche. Gordon has a gigantic Oedipal complex - he and his father share the same facial hair and at one point he advises mom to sleep with Greeks and basketball players. At the film’s “climax” he hoses dad down with elephant penis. Freud would have had a field day.

To save you the trouble, here is a list of terrible, horrible things in Freddy Got Fingered that I now want to forget:

• X-Ray Cat.
• Tom Green grabs and waves a horse penis.
• Tom Green holds a large salami between his legs and hits a co-worker while saying “ding dong.”
• Tom Green guts a deer and rolls around in its skin on a road and is then hit by a truck.
• Tom Green watches two horses mating while eating a sandwich.
• Tom Green licks the exposed, broken shin bone of his friend after a skateboarding accident.
• Tom Green delivers a baby, bites its umbilical cord, and then swings the newborn around his head like a yo-yo. Blood sprays all over everything.
• A cute handicapped girl says she likes rockets because they are hot, hard, and long, and asks Tom to whack her in the legs with a long stick. While removing his pants, she finds that Tom Green has an umbilical cord still taped to his body that never fell off of his navel.
• Tom Green in a scuba suit drops soap on a rope in the toilet and dives in to retrieve it.
• Rip Torn takes down his pants and invites Tom Green to do the deed.
• Tom Green hoses Rip Torn down with elephant semen.
• Shaq doing something extremely odd on a bed in purple shorts.

I find situational humor extremely funny when it involves sympathetic characters. When a sex-deprived teenager we feel sorry for humps a pie and might get caught by his dad, it’s funny. Borat was also on higher level of characterization and social satire.

Ultimately, the only humor here in imagining how this film was made. The biggest joke of all is on whomever approved this project and allowed Green free reign over millions of wasted dollars.

Now, in the context of the So Bad It’s Good contest, Freddy Got Fingered easily one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. I’ll have to watch a few more terrible films and see how it stacks up, but right now this film is a true low point in awful movie making. I feel like someone is laughing at me for watching it.

IMDB: Freddy Got Fingered
Wikipedia: Freddy Got Fingered
Rotten Tomatoes: Freddy Got Fingered 10%

Read more movie reviews at Webomatica: Movies!

 Please subscribe to the Webomatica RSS Feed!

Categories: 0 Star Movies, Contest, Movies :: Tags: :: Trackback URL
Previous Post: Movie Notes: Syriana
Next Post: Fake Steve Jobs Finally Unmasked
Related Posts: How I Rate The Movies I Review :: Webomatica 2007 Summary :: Webomatica Contest 5: So Bad They’re Good Movies - Netflix Version :: Movie Notes: Mommie Dearest ::