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Five Things: Five Movies So Bad… They’re Good

February 22nd, 2007

One fun thing I haven’t participated too much in are blogging contests. Engtech just started one that I thought would be fun to enter: Five Things. If you have a blog and want to participate, check it out here. So, here’s my entry.

It’s been a while (many years) since I deliberately watched a truly awful movie, but for a while I dabbled in this “genre” of films so terrible that they become unintentionally, hilariously funny, and therefore, rather entertaining.

Usually, bad movies are just boring. It takes a special film to cross over into that realm of so totally awful on every level, that you sit and wonder in awe at how it ever got made. Plus, you can’t intentionally set out to make a so-bad-it’s-good-movie – the quest to make a decent flick but failing is part of the appeal.

So here are some so-bad-they’re-entertaining films:

1. Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000

I actually paid good money to see this one because of the terrible reviews – and it was worth it. John Travolta plays a gigantic evil alien (Psychlo) with dreadlocks. The aliens have taken over Earth and enslaved the entire human race. The humans decide to revolt. The only reason why this didn’t happen sooner is because the humans are stupid, and the only reason why the revolt succeeds, is the Psychlos are even stupider. This is an instance where the book is far superior to the film, only the book isn’t that great either – I think you can infer where that leaves the film. The best part of the movie is when the alien home planet is destroyed, because it’s then clear this spacey space adventure will finally end.

IMDB: Battlefield Earth

2. Hard Ticket To Hawaii

There’s a whole series of these Andy Sidaris films that are likely designed to be profitable through skimping on the budget and amping up the action and sex. Certainly, much isn’t spent on writers, props, music, or actresses (save for a few Playboy Playmates). Anyhow, some of the funnier scenes involve a terrible theme song, a snake in a toilet, and a mannequin (love doll?) on a skateboard that’s taken out with a missile. I might be thinking of a different Sidaris film with the latter, but it really doesn’t matter – they’re all equally ridiculous.

IMDB: Hard Ticket To Hawaii

3. The Barbarians

Two muscular twins play barbarians in the style of Conan. I suppose they wanted a career similar to Arnie’s but got lost somewhere during their version of Kindergarten Cop. The Barbarians tries to fit every medieval adventure movie cliche yet fails each time, to hilarious effect. I seem to remember a critical plot point about sticking a gem in a girl’s navel.

IMDB: The Barbarians

4. Plan 9 From Outer Space

I can’t say much about the worst science fiction film ever except it has to be seen to be believed. It wastes an awful lot of dialogue trying to explain the wrong things. The acting is terrible, the plot incomprehensible, and the direction seems to consist of people standing still. This film is in the public domain, so knock yourself out (literally) watching this film that’s better than anesthetic. This film is from the fifites so it’s got that strange, low budget retro feel, complete with special effects that are certainly not so special anymore. While watching Plan 9 (often referred to as the worst film ever made) you start wondering if it was intentionally made this bad, but things keep pulling you back and make you realize no, everyone involved just didn’t know what they were doing.

Note: This is a film directed by Ed Wood, who was featured in a pretty good film about his life directed by Tim Burton.

IMDB: Plan 9 From Outer Space

5. Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal Of Time

The first Beastmaster had a muscular barbarian fighting evil. The Beastmaster can communicate with animals. In this one, there’s a time portal and he meets Kari Wuhrer (if you know who she is, it’s another part of the joke). When a film makes less sense than the one you come up with in your head while watching it, it’s bad.

This is another medieval adventure flick that is unfortunately made worse because it tries to combine itself with present day Los Angeles.

IMDB: Beastmaster 2

Here are some additional resources for truly bad movies. I haven’t watched many of these. Please don’t suggest I do.

Bad films at IMDB

Another trick is to jimmy Rotten Tomatoes so it gives you only the terrible films.

Additional Reading: The Stinkers

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  • I am embarassed to say that I have seen all these movies with you. Your list is pretty much sound. I think I might swap positions 1 and 2 on the list, but that is a minor quibble.

    The saddest thing is that I've seen Hard Ticket probably 3-4 times in total. In college I showed it to some friends and they loved it as well. So I do think this movie is an underappreciated "gem".

    I'd give an honorable mention to "Savage Beach" which, for those not in the know, is also by Andy Sidaris and is a pseudo sequel to Hard Ticket. Not quite as funny as Hard Ticket, Savage Beach nevertheless holds a special place in my heart as I remember seeing it with Jase in the theater on its "opening weekend". The only other people in the theater was a couple (date night?) and some loner dude. The couple left in disgust 30 minutes into the screening. It's hard to imagine paying full price for Andy Sidaris, but I did laugh my ass off.
  • According to one of the Amazon user reviews for the Hard Ticket DVD, there's a director's commentary track that explains some of the unexplicable scenes (sorta). I kinda want to see it again to see what Sidaris sez about those inflatable dolls.

    Oh and don't forget the razor-blade frisbee.
  • Hmmm - yeah as you can see, a lot of these flicks you remember. I think I saw a box set for the Sidaris films. Unfortunately, I don't think I could ever buy it as having that in my DVD collection would just be ... embarrassing. Might be worth a rental though - and yeah the directors commentary could prove to be amusing... I wonder what was going through their heads when they were making this.

    there's a pretty funny documentary (or mockumentary) called American Movie about two guys making a terrible horror movie. It also has the movie they made which is really bad.
  • Plan 9 From Outer Space is really good to watch!
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