Movie Notes: Never Say Never Again
February 11th, 2007
= 3 stars
Starring Sean Connery, Kim Basinger, Barbara Carrera
This is odd Bond, not unlike On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Many feel it shouldn’t even be included in the canon, as it wasn’t produced by EON Productions. But it has one aspect making it somewhat worth seeing: Sean Connery.
A key crucial flaw of Never Say Never Again is that it’s essentially a remake of Thunderball – one of the best Bond films ever. Why Thunderball? This is where a bit of odd movie history is in order, as the man responsible is Kevin McClory, a writer who collaborated with Ian Fleming on some Bond screenplays in the late fifties. Fleming used one these drafts as the basis for his ninth novel, Thunderball, without giving McClory credit. A lawsuit ensued, and the book went on to be a box office powerhouse in 1966, but with the option for McClory to remake it after ten years. In 1976 McLory began work on his own James Bond movie, but was quickly slapped with a lawsuit by EON who was still making Bond films. The legal battle went on until the 1980s until McClory won the right to remake Thunderball – the only Bond story he had any claim to (if this is interesting to you, please check out this Wikipedia entry regarding this sticky history).
So this film already has one hand tied behind its back as there’s simply no way it could top Thunderball, an awesome sixties spectacle, even with Connery as Bond. The best qualities of the original are hardly surpassed or even emulated. Missing are the climactic undersea battles, the luxurious locations, or the luxurious Domino Derval. A remake of a sub-par Bond like Diamonds Are Forever or The Man With The Golden Gun would have made far more sense – but McClory had nothing to do with those films.
Another problem is Sean Connery’s age. He’s quite unintentionally funny in some of the fight scenes. There’s no conceivable reason why a man so old would be cast as Bond other than because he’d been in the role for so long (Roger Moore looks equally embalmed in A View To A Kill). Thankfully, his age isn’t completely covered up; in fact, it’s rather a joke as M dispatches Bond to a health spa for a diet and exercise.
But that’s not all. Since this isn’t an EON film, many familiar Bond elements are altered (to avoid another lawsuit) or nonexistent. M, Q, Moneypenny, and Blofeld are all played by different actors. The theme song is one of the worst ever, there’s no distinctive Bond guitar music, and the iconic gun-barrel opening sequence is completely absent.
The supporting cast is also inexplicably weak – nemesis Maximilian Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer), Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera), and Domino Petachi (Kim Basinger) – none of them lend Connery much help.
The only scene I found vaguely entertaining is one where eighties video games are played in a casino. Bond and Largo play “World Domination,” where the joysticks are loaded with electrodes that deal out electric shocks. There’s some funny narration by a robotic Cylon voice.
Because of its many flaws, I can’t really recommend Never Say Never Again. Only see it if you’re a big Sean Connery fan or have seen all the early Sean Connery Bonds and want more. If it had starred another actor as Bond – it would have been unbearable.
IMDB: Never Say Never Again
Wikipedia: Never Say Never Again
Rotten Tomatoes: Never Say Never Again 61%
Next “Bonus” Bond Movie: Casino Royale (1967)
Previous Bond Movie: Casino Royale
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Posted In: 3 Star Movies, James Bond, Movies 3 stars, Barbara Carrera, Kim Basinger, Sean Connery
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Worst Bond ever definitley. Thank god it wasn’t offical, trying to rip off Thunderball. Thunderball is way better than never say never again. The girls were good looking, that’s it.
Totally. Even the music is cheesy! No Bond theme…
James Bond Rides Through Never Say Never Again…
The last James Bond movie I watched was Never Say Never Again, which, as I just recently found out, is a movie that was released in December of 1983. It was that long ago. Well, IÂ’m not surprised. It still starred Sean Connery as the good looking spy….
Relax, it was really pretty good. Lots of action and great humor, and Connery looked great. Even though it didn’t have the Bond theme, so what? It was just fine for 1983. It’s one of my favorites (along with Live and Let Die, the first one I ever saw on the big screen).
The remake of ‘Thunderball’ was an ‘unofficial’ rival Bond movie to ‘Octopussy’ for 1983. They’re actually good mates in real life, but if Sean Connery and Roger Moore were to duke it out, my money’s on Connery. He looked damned good for a 50-something, and although the Scottish brogue is more to the fore, he’s back to being interested (and thus charming and charismatic) in the project. Thankfully, main villain Klaus Maria Brandauer as Largo is also excellent (Max Von Sydow makes a fine cameo as Blofeld, but he doesn’t get much screen time); he does seem genuinely mad, driven and disarmingly urbane at the same time. They should have used the guy in the official EON Bond movies. Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera) was a classic Psycho Bad Girl, though she pales in comparison with Famke Janssen’s bravura turn as Xenia Onatopp in ‘Goldeneye’. She’s pretty good, though. There are a few surprisingly clever moments in the script, but unfortunately, there’s not a lot else on offer here. This is a remake of ‘Thunderball’, and while it is arguably a streamlined improvement (there’s a lot less underwater stuff), it’s still boring old ‘Thunderball’. Ok, so they couldn’t legally use the original James Bond themes, but did the incidental music have to be so bad? The soundtrack (thank you messrs Cheap and Nasty) utilised horrible cheesy synths to approximate a real orchestra. Rowan ‘Mr Bean’ Atkinson’s cameo is overplayed and cringeworthy, as is Edward Fox as the new head of MI6. Felix Leiter was far too young, and Kim Basinger as Domino? That blonde sleepwalker with the wee piggy eyes? Nuh. Why was Bond dressed in dungarees for one small, near-insignificant scene? He looked like a Village Person. The video game duel between Bond and Largo is no substitute for a tense casino scene, and that silly ‘electronic’ voice makes one cringe. Watching other people play video games is invariably tedious. Still, it was more convincing than those cartoon-y animated missiles. Writing-wise there were several flat areas, and some ghastly skit-show level dialogue (Fatima: “I made you all wet!” Bond: “Yes, but my Martini’s still dry”), and an overall feeling that money was a little tight. It doesn’t look as glossy as even the lesser EON Bond productions. Nevertheless, as to which movie wins the Battle Of The Bonds; regardless of ‘Octopussy’s superior box office take, it’s this one. It’s not a keeper but there are worse Bond movies. Oh, and watch for the marvellous little moment at 5:03 during the scene in M’s office when Connery nonchalantly reaches into his trouser pocket to scratch his testicles. He’s the man.
The remake of ‘Thunderball’ was an ‘unofficial’ rival Bond movie to ‘Octopussy’ for 1983. They’re actually good mates in real life, but if Sean Connery and Roger Moore were to duke it out, my money’s on Connery. He looked damned good for a 50-something, and although the Scottish brogue is more to the fore, he’s back to being interested (and thus charming and charismatic) in the project. Thankfully, main villain Klaus Maria Brandauer as Largo is also excellent (Max Von Sydow makes a fine cameo as Blofeld, but he doesn’t get much screen time); he does seem genuinely mad, driven and disarmingly urbane at the same time. They should have used the guy in the official EON Bond movies. Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera) was a classic Psycho Bad Girl, though she pales in comparison with Famke Janssen’s bravura turn as Xenia Onatopp in ‘Goldeneye’. She’s pretty good, though. There are a few surprisingly clever moments in the script, but unfortunately, there’s not a lot else on offer here. This is a remake of ‘Thunderball’, and while it is arguably a streamlined improvement (there’s a lot less underwater stuff), it’s still boring old ‘Thunderball’. Ok, so they couldn’t legally use the original James Bond themes, but did the incidental music have to be so bad? The soundtrack (thank you messrs Cheap and Nasty) utilised horrible cheesy synths to approximate a real orchestra. Rowan ‘Mr Bean’ Atkinson’s cameo is overplayed and cringeworthy, as is Edward Fox as the new head of MI6. Felix Leiter was far too young, and Kim Basinger as Domino? That blonde sleepwalker with the wee piggy eyes? Nuh. Why was Bond dressed in dungarees for one small, near-insignificant scene? He looked like a Village Person. The video game duel between Bond and Largo is no substitute for a tense casino scene, and that silly ‘electronic’ voice makes one cringe. Watching other people play video games is invariably tedious. Still, it was more convincing than those cartoon-y animated missiles. Writing-wise there were several flat areas, and some ghastly skit-show level dialogue (Fatima: “I made you all wet!” Bond: “Yes, but my Martini's still dry”), and an overall feeling that money was a little tight. It doesn’t look as glossy as even the lesser EON Bond productions. Nevertheless, as to which movie wins the Battle Of The Bonds; regardless of ‘Octopussy’s superior box office take, it’s this one. It’s not a keeper but there are worse Bond movies. Oh, and watch for the marvellous little moment at 5:03 during the scene in M’s office when Connery nonchalantly reaches into his trouser pocket to scratch his testicles. He’s the man.
Testicle scratching? I missed that
Testicle scratching? I missed that
It’s extremely nonchalant, but once you catch it you can’t not see it. Like that longhaired Greek woman’s moustache in ‘For Your Eyes Only’.
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