Tragic Signs of iPod Addiction
I admit it. I’m addicted to my iPod. Here are my symptoms, each shockingly worse than the other.
1. I own more than one iPod. The Shuffle was just the gateway drug. Then I got the itching for Nano (it’s so small, and it looks like a candy bar!). Next, an iPod Video (what better way to enjoy Desperate Houswives than on a screen smaller than a credit card?). Next, my wife also needed an iPod so she could manage her own playlists. Now she has two. And Steve Jobs keeps pushing them out like baby rabbits. Does it ever end?
2. I suffer from the dreaded iPod headphone tangle. This morning, I encountered not just one set of earphones, but two, tangled together in my jacket pocket. I don’t remember how they both got in there, likely plotting against me. I struggled for nearly a minute to untangle them – nothing is sadder than seeing an iPod addict waiting for the bus, dealing with the evil iPod headphone tangle, desperate to get his morning fix of tunes.
3. When I get a CD, I immediately rip it into iTunes and push it to my iPod, then listen. I don’t usually listening to music on the computer anymore. It’s as if the iPod is the only proper source for music consumption, tiny, sonically inferior buds and all.
4. I sync my iPod every day. It must be done, if only to lessen the ever-lengthening queue of podcasts that need to be listened to and then deleted in order to make more room for… more podcasts. Damn you iPod, and your addictive ways.
5. The iPod is in my pocket just as much as my wallet. I’m thinking a pretty awesome product would be the combination iPod and wallet, so I can constantly remind myself how much cash I have on hand to buy another iPod.
6. Mastering the one-handed iPod navigation technique. If you can navigate the scroll wheel, choose a song, and flip the hold switch all with one hand, you spend too much quality time with your iPod. Bonus points if you do this while driving.
7. The iPod wins out over the internet. On a recent vacation, I left the laptop at home… but I took the iPod.
8. iPod withdrawal symptoms. Where did I put that iPod? I’m going to be late for work. But I have to find the iPod before I go out the door… otherwise, how will my commute be tolerable? I might have to call in sick until I find it.
9. Listening to the iPod when there are other listening options around. For example: I’m sitting directly in front of a computer at work but find myself listening to the iPod because that’s where all my music is.
10. Wanting another iPod “just because.” For no practical reason, I’ve been ogling the really super tiny iPod Shuffle. If I buy it, I can hook my iPod Video up to the stereo and just leave it there as a home entertainment center. Wait, that doesn’t make any sense… wouldn’t it be easier to get an iTV or something and stream the tunes from my computer…? But I want a reason to get another iPod!
11. Compressing television shows just so I can watch them on my iPod… or the TV. The more I think about it, this is the surest sign of iPod addiction. I own a MacBook. I can burn a DVD. Yet I sometimes insist on compressing nice, big videos down to postage stamp size so I can watch them… on my iPod. Then when I hook up my iPod to the TV and watch a show there, just to prove it can be done, I weep inside… because I know I’ll never be cured.