Season 7, Episode 10

Gilmore Girls: There are two grown men under there.

This episode held my interest, but the buildup lead to a big “huh?” which I don’t think the writers of the show intended. If you saw the program, you might know exactly what I was confused about. Anyhow, I’ve realized I’m only sticking with the show this season out of loyalty - it’s most likely the last season.

First, let’s get Rory’s plot thread out of the way. For the past few episodes, she’s been hiding the fact that her new art friend Lucy’s boyfriend was Marty, the infamous naked guy that showed some interest in Rory (I strongly doubt he was primarily captivated by Duck Soup), but ultimately Rory chose Logan. Anyhow, in this episode, the truth comes out. Logan spills the beans while Marty, Rory, Logan, and Lucy are all having dinner together. The result: Lucy fairly thinks there’s a “thing” between Marty and Rory, and doesn’t want to talk to poor Miss Gilmore. Which is sad, because Lucy was her first genuine, new friend this season; similarities to Madeline aside.

So back to Christopher and Lorelai. The show starts with the newlyweds house hunting - not in Stars Hollow. I was taken aback at how “holly homemaker” Lorelai had suddenly become (I guess granite counter tops do that to people). Thankfully, Lorelai informs Christopher that she doesn’t want to move.

Christopher is also out and about more with Lorelai in Stars Hollow. They go grocery shopping, and while Christopher takes care of the check-out, Lorelai ventures outside and inadvertently runs into Luke, who is watching his sister’s new baby. When Christopher emerges from the grocery store, Lorelai is holding Luke’s niece and smiling. Luke and Lorelai look like a happy couple. Christopher takes this the wrong way, and immediately feels an odd sort of jealousy towards Luke, who is seeming like some kind of uber-manly-father.

Christopher decides that he and Lorelai should have a child of their own, right away. For good reason, Lorelai is surprised and kind of taken aback by this sudden desire to procreate. Christopher says never mind, but he’s obviously not happy about it.

Things come to a head during a meeting with Emily, who is trying to organize a “proper” shebang for Christopher and Lorelai, the latter of which just wants a small get-together that isn’t a big to-do. Christopher doesn’t understand why she’s being so unreasonable.

So near the end of the episode, Christopher is out drinking. Upon leaving the bar, he sees Luke across the street, in the dark. The tension is palpable as both men head towards each other… they fight. It’s kind of sweet revenge for Christopher after Luke punched him in the eye at the start of the season.

Unfortunately (and this is my big “huh?”)… neither says a word to each other. They just tackle man-style, land a few punches, crash into some Christmas decorations - and nothing really happens. Say it with me: “Huh?”

I’m reminded of the light saber duel in The Phantom Menace that had little or no tension because no words were traded. Remember A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Jedi - what makes the light saber battle so great between Darth Vader and Obi Wan? The back and forth conversation between two sworn enemies.

Are the writers so clueless this season that they couldn’t come up with anything? Is the new hallmark of Gilmore Girls that all pivotal moments occur in absolute silence?

Maybe I hoping for some sort of naked man fight, Borat style (just replace Pam Anderson with Lorelai)? This would definitely been out of character (but probably more entertaining).

So it’s sad that after the man-battle, Luke and Christopher just part ways and slink off into the darkness. Nothing was accomplished (we already knew they hated each other), except now it’s clear that Lorelai has pretty crappy options: either Luke or Christopher who now look even more moronic, impulsive, and tragically male than before.

The parting shot comes from Emily. She makes a late night visit and warns Lorelai of Christopher’s impulsive, and that she needs to learn the art of compromise if the marriage is to succeed. We’ll see if Lorelai gets the message.

But I’m judging by the way things are going, I wouldn’t blame her if she ran off to find Max or even that Digger guy.

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