I’m on kind of a Beatles kick after seeing Love in Las Vegas, so I think I’ll plow through all the Beatles albums and post some thoughts. Since the songs are so familiar to me, I’ll rate each from one to five stars, and generate an amusing “Best Beatles Songs” list.

My ratings may seem a bit harsh - but they’re relative to other Beatles songs - two or three star ratings appear often because the four and five star songs are so incredible.

At this point in the Beatles career, they were constantly on the verge of breaking up. Each Beatle had a distinctive songwriting style and diverging interests (George India, and John Yoko), so the White Album is frustratingly difficult to evaluate. It’s almost like three or four albums smashed together. There’s undeniably some tripe and trash, but sometimes the contrast between the good and bad is what makes for interesting listening. The jump from Happiness Is A Warm Gun to Martha My Dear is psychotic but part of what makes the album mesmerizing - you know that the Beatles’ days are numbered when you hear such flowers after calculated rage.

Back In The U.S.S.R.

= 3 stars

I had this at 4 stars originally, but the more I thought about it, there’s something oddly forced in this Paul rocker. Maybe it’s desperation, an over-eagerness to please, or aping the Beach Boys a little too much. I still like the song well enough but I’m bumping it down to average.

Dear Prudence

= 5 stars

The song itself might only get 4 stars, but the production is amazing. All kinds of musical jewels pile in: chunky drumming, glistening piano, high vocals, and a song-boosting counter guitar melody from George.

Glass Onion

= 4 stars

I really like this bitter, Beatle-mocking song from John. It’s mean, snarly, and he even makes fun of Paul’s banal Fool On The Hill. The “Oh yeah” part is acerbic John at his best.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da

= 3 stars

This is just average stuff, Paul shoveling the popcorn as high as he can get it, and topping it off with extra cheese. You have kooky characters doing kooky romantic things, and an Indian mantra to center it all on. Horns chime in, laughing people, dippy background vocals, ringing piano - the whole arsenal is expended to produce a rehash of Hello, Goodbye and a big “next” on my iPod.

Wild Honey Pie

= 1 star

This isn’t a song, nor an idea for a song, or even funny - it’s garbage. Paul could write this kind of thing in the bathroom - and it sounds like it was recorded there, too.

The Continuing Story Of Bungalo Bill

= 2 stars

I just don’t get this song either. It’s too long, John’s “all the children sing” annoys me, and Yoko’s little part “but when he looked so fierce” pisses me off. I’d probably blame her more for her singing on this song than any part she played in breaking up the Beatles.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

= 5 stars

This is truly stunning stuff, and something that shows what the Beatles could achieve when they worked together (well, plus Eric Clapton). George’s songwriting is moving to a higher plane. It has two main sections, the first in a descending minor, and the second in major “I don’t know why…”, that contrast and complement each other perfectly. The only thing I can fault this song for is some sloppy playing but since everyone was probably stoned out of their minds I’ll forgive them and give it 5 stars.

Happiness Is A Warm Gun

= 5 stars

This is an exquisite piece of John songwriting, and although it’s probably fragments of several songs, the way they are stitched together is psychologically revealing and rather horrifying. The tempo changes are awesome. The combination of a 50s doo-wop song (background vocals saying “bang bang, shoot shoot”) and gun-play is a classic Lennon moment.

Martha My Dear

= 5 stars

This may surprise some, but this is my favorite “Paul the Vaudevillian” song. I know it’s about a dog. I know it’s totally dumb. But something about the arrangement of all the horn, orchestra, and piano parts just does it for me. I really like the “look what you’ve done” high notes. So if I’m to pick one song out of all the Paul “grandma” songs, it’s this one. And the only one. I promise.

I’m So Tired

= 5 stars

I really love this Lennon number. Maybe it’s only a sequel to I’m Only Sleeping, but I’m fascinated by the way John argues with himself, and how the sinking chord progression and tempo perfectly captures the tired feeling. There’s also some neat building on the repeated phrase at the end, Paul chiming in with a deep baritone. It sounds like an annoyed, tired person muttering about how the kids these days don’t appreciate rock and roll.

Blackbird

= 4 stars

This is a cool Paul folk song. I think he blew his acoustic-guitar-solo-singer wad with Yesterday, but it’s neat enough to give it 4 stars.

Piggies

= 2 stars

I never liked this song. George mocks the wealthy class via various elements of Victorian England (strings, harpsichord). The big join-in sounding like regal courtmembers and the awkward ending with snorting pigs are just a little too literal for me.

Rocky Raccoon

= 1 star

You know how I keep saying I don’t like it when the Beatles do country. This is the worst offender. I hate Paul’s Western accent, ugh. Couldn’t this song have been combined with Bungalow Bill and ended with a shoot-out, killing everyone involved?

Don’t Pass Me By

= 1 star

Another Ringo tune. This one, he wrote himself, which shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Why Don’t We Do It In The Road

= 3 stars

So why do I give this song, which seems even stupider, three stars? Because it’s got some lusty Paul shouting. Because in the style of the best bluesy rock songs, it only has two lines which make no sense. And because, it’s thankfully short. Not a four or five star song, but it makes me laugh.

I Will

= 3 stars

This one sounds like a retread of I’ll Follow the Sun. Been there, done that. It’s similar to Here, There and Everywhere. You can draw a direct line from this ear-pleasing tune to much of Paul’s solo work.

Julia

= 4 stars

This is a great song, a precursor to All Across the Universe. Especially exquisite is the way the minor chords spin up into a different section “Her hair of floating sky…”. The subject matter is about as personal as it gets.

Wikipedia: The White Album

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