Salty Snack Review
Whenever I miss my train home and have some time to kill, I unfortunately am a sucker for a crunchy, salty snack: potato chips, corn chips, cheese curls — anything that costs about a buck and I can wolf down in a few minutes. Sadly, I guess I’m a carb-chip addict. But they taste so good! So here are my thoughts on some of the crispy, bagged starch snacks I’ve tried recently:
Funyuns: I used to love these as a kid but they’re pretty lame as an adult. They’re basically crunchy onion flavored corn rings, I suppose meant to imitate deep-fried onion rings. The onion flavor isn’t bold or tangy, most of the rings are shriveled and broken (resulting in onion arcs), and occasionally there’s a stale piece that’s hard as a rock. I’ve been let down by the temptation of Funyuns one too many times.
Doritos Black Pepper Jack: I grew up munching on Cool Ranch or Salsa Verde Doritos, but somewhere along the line I’ve been attracted to this peppery, cheesy variety of Doritos. I didn’t realize this but there are a slew of new, extreme Doritos flavors. Some further research is in order.
Ruffles Sour Cream and Onion. If there’s no cheese, I’ll take onion and sour cream. This flavor, strongly reminiscent of a chip coated with onion dip, makes my mouth water. These potato chips are a little thicker, and each has a satisfying tang. I guess all the flavor hides out in the wavy ridges.
Ruffles Cheddar Cheese and Sour Cream. This is basically reminiscent on a baked potato you’d get at a fast food joint, covered with melting cheddar and a dollop of sour cream. I love this stuff. It’s cheesy, tangy, with a nice aroma that makes my mouth water. And the cheese powder isn’t so crazy that it coats your fingers.
Kettle Chips Cheddar Beer: This potato chip has a slight cheese flavor, but more distinctive is a slight malt / yeast flavor that’s a bit sour and tangy. Unusual to say the least, but it grows on you. Both Cheddar Beer and Spicy Thai were the result of a Kettle Chips contest where users submitted flavors they’d like to see.
Kettle Chips Spicy Thai: This unique potato chip is truly worth seeking out. Sweet and sour, salt, and ginger combine to something that’s spicy yet cool simultaneously. Highly recommended.
Johnny Naps Cheddar Cheese Fries: I hate to admit it but I’m rather hooked on these things. The bag is huge, and each corn meal stick is blasted with cheddar cheese and bacon flavor. Each cheese fry has a satisfying crunch as they’re slightly puffed inside. The big downside is the amount of cheese powder on these things. You definitely run the risk of cheese powder finger.
Johnny Naps Hot Fries: While I’m currently addicted to the cheese flavor, avoid the hot fries like the plague. The spicy version falls in the realm of flavor abuse with enough heat to peel paint. I accidentally grabbed a bag of these firecrackers by mistake and regretted it; I swear every bite nearly made me cough and gag from the fumes. A similar snack is Cheetos Flamin’ Hot which I also advise avoiding, unless an upset stomach and a long visit to the restroom is your idea of a satisfying between meal adventure.
Michael Season’s Ultimate Cheese Puffs: This is cheating a bit, as I’ve only seen these in a big bag at Cost Plus, but please try them if you can. They are basically Cheetos except coated with a copius amount of real white cheddar cheese powder. The effect is stunning, as each bite explodes with salty cheese celebration. You’ll get the cheese finger for sure, but it’s worth it!
lol, I’m glad you mentioned funyuns. I too thought they were the greatest invention EVAR as a kid. Sadly, when I tried them recently, they sucked. Super salty, crap texture and pretty one-dimensional.
Recently I’ve gotten into pita chips, which seems like something an adult would do. I can’t imagine liking pita chips as a kid.
What about reviewing some Hawaiian style snacks Mr. Hawaii?!?
The pita chip I feel is good for the conscience but not for my inner cheese-hound.
Good idea about the Hawaiian snack action, although I have to admit since they’re harder to come by on the mainland, I haven’t been snacking on them much. Maybe it’s time to revisit some of the old standbys.
Btw, what’s your opinion on cheez-its and cheese-nips (I think those are the small cheesey snack crackers)?
Two jobs back, the company I worked for would totally stock up on cheez-its and I’d snack away until I realized that I was getting fatter. Those cheese crackers are also damn salty. I guess most packaged food has tons of salt to offset any other unfavorable flavor/chemical undertones.
Oh, and lest I forget. Don’t forget Pirate Booty! Sorta healthier than cheetos but still nice and salty and cheesey.
I generally like Cheez-Its. At one point I was really into some tabasco or hot sauce flavored ones.
Pirates Booty cheese puffs are pretty good, although I think it’s a little bland in comparison with the Michael’s. There was also one Pirates Booty snack I tried that was terrible…something that was like fried pasta.
I guess I should do another post on more snacks.
[…] Elaine Vigneault: Simple, Satisfying Vegan Dinner, Our Thanksgiving Dinner (with pix), What Does A Vegan Eat? Baked Tofu on Quinoa and Artichoke: A picture is worth thousand words, and Elaine’s occasional forays into just showing how delicious vegan food is really convincing stuff. I didn’t do very well on my “fatblogging” resolution at the start of 2007 by the way, so this might be the inspiration I need to eat better and lay off the crap. […]
i love to have salty and crispy stuffs. i thanks to this blog for revealing such stuffs. i m very conscious that this stuff is pretty good as evening snacks and for get together.
[…] $99 Android tablet sold at Walgreens — a great place for magazines, cheap drugs, gift cards, and salty snacks but not the first place I think of when it comes to consumer electronics. Anyhow, the Maylong-150 […]