OR EMAILMovie Notes: Ten Must-Haves in Any Romantic Comedy
I’ve seen too many movies, specifically romantic comedies (rom-coms), and have noticed some glaring similarities. Here’s my list of cliches to watch for the next time you’re soaking in a chick flick:
1. Boy And Girl Are Very Different. Whatever boy is, girl is very different or just plain the opposite. Maybe boy is a rich bookstore mogul while girl is a vegan coffee shop owner. Or boy is a wedding singer while girl is a fashion journalist with a memory problem. Or boy is alive while girl is dead (possibly living in a different century). The more ridiculous the contrast, the more we doubt that boy and girl could ever be a couple which is the best way to start a romantic comedy.
(You’ve Got Mail, 50 First Dates, Just Like Heaven)
2. Boy Meets Girl In An Unusual Way. Their first meeting should be realistic but memorable. One can spill a beverage on the other. Or one can hit on the other every day forever and fail. Or one of them falls into a coma while the other pretends to be their fiance. The result of the initial encounter is that they have shared a mutual attraction.
(Notting Hill, Ground Hog Day, While You Were Sleeping)
3. Romantic Date. Boy and girl do something fun together, maybe they aren’t in love yet, but it’s so romantic they’re in denial if they don’t feel an attraction. It could be as simple as a walk through Paris, breaking lobsters with little mallets, or picking up an autistic younger brother from day care who asks boy if he “makes out” with girl. Boy feels awkward, then younger brother kicks boy in the crotch. Something like that.
(Before Sunrise, Bridget Jones, Annie Hall)
4. Quirky Friends. Quirky friends are a must, for comic relief, snide advice, or inserting some necessary doubt into the blossoming romance. Archetypes are gay fashion designers with crazy wardrobes, brooding goth girls with an 80s vibe, or insane, shifty roommates with insatiable libidos and perverted underwear.
(Notting Hill, Say Anything, Mannequin)
5. Older Perverted Relative. At some point an older relative must make an appearance and shoot off a few skanky metaphors for some cheap laughs, usually in the form of advice to girl: “What are you waiting for, get a taste of the sweet peach when it’s ripe,” or “Nothin’ like the old horizontal mambo to keep the melons from sagging!”
(Runaway Bride, Failure to Launch, Prime)
6. One Hit Wonders. A nostalgic, sappy soundtrack is a must. +1 if a Burt Bacharach song can be worked into a cast sing-along. +2 if it’s Motown. +3 if original recording artist makes a cameo appearance. When in doubt tap the Dixie Chicks, Sheryl Crow, the 60s, or anybody associated with Lilith Fair.
(Hi Fidelity, Best Friends Wedding, Love Actually)
7. Dogs and Cats. Boy and/or girl has a dog or cat that they confide in. Pets are cute; everyone loves pets. They can be used to evaluate the new love interest by purring or biting them in the crotch.
(Truth about Cats and Dogs, Must Love Dogs, Breakfast at Tiffany’s)
8. Wedding/Dance/Party scene. There’s always some big social event with food, music, and dancing, where the girl gets to dress up, as guy stands around looking stunned and worried he’s out of his league.
(Maid in Manhattan, Big Fat Greek Wedding, Four Weddings and A Funeral)
9. Boy and Girl Break Up. Boy and girl must part, otherwise how will they ever get back together? Previous differences threaten to overwhelm the relationship. An old flame returns and proposes marriage. Nazis threaten to take over the nightclub. Boy reveals his true profession as a time traveller from the future and girl just can’t see raising their children, who will be older than boy come 2057.
(Sweet Home Alabama, Casablanca, Notting Hill)
10. Boy and Girl Are In Love. The End. No matter how ridiculous or insurmountable number 9 is, somehow space and time are transcended to reunite boy and girl. Insert a crazy car chase, sorority sisters racing to stop boy from boarding a plane, the realization that boy’s telekenetic ability to hear chimpanzees speak is cured by kissing girl, or a love-confessional speech in front of a crowd of people, hopefully televised and with a priest conveniently available to marry the couple. +2 if the priest is elderly, perverted, and shorter than girl.
(Alex and Emma, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Grease)
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